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http://lab.andre-michelle.com/tonematrix

You'll need speakers. The server crashed on me twice from overload to the server. Once you've got it loaded, I suggest that you not try reloading the page... just manualy click on each button to make it stop playing and clear your board.

So what is it?

It's music. On a grid. Put in random squares to make beautiful music! Draw stuff and you start hearing patterns that just sound like the drawing (a smiley face sounds very happy)! Write your name or initials! Best sounding one I did so far was to write "Molly" (MO on the top and LLY on the bottom).

MUST STOP PLAYING WITH IT! MUST STOP MAKING BEAUTIFUL MUSIC!
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I can hardly wait to read "The Monster At The End Of This Book" to Molly :)

Let's see that HACK Elmo try and pull ofF something as magnificent as this book! Subtly sarcastic humor, comedic timing and even SLAPSTICK pulled off in the pages of a children's book! Grover is a GENIUS! He's always, ALWAYS been my favorite :)
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Clicke here for the friggin' best bit of comedy to come out of Saturday Night Live since after the drove the "Celebrity Jeopardy" thing in to the ground! Seriously! If for no ther reason than so you can use the line "You can call us Aaron Burr from the way we're droppin Hamiltons"!

EDIT: "Mistah Pibb plus Redvines equals CRAYZEE DELICIOUS!"
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I am SOOOOOO envious of these kids! In 1994 they did a LIVE performance of Weird Al's "Nature Trail To Hell (in 3-D)" for some school talent show and it KICKS ASS! Clikc the link! You know you wanna!

You clicked on the kids performing Harry Potter.

You clicked on Gangsta Barney.

You clicked on Ditka & The Grabowskis.

You know you wanna click on the kids performing Weird Al.
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Why... WHY must I always click? When it says something as mind-numbingly cheesy as "Ditka doing The Grabowski Shuffle with The Grabowskis", WHY MUST I CLICK THERE?!?!?

Luckilly, it's short. An even though it's obviously from The 80's, it still stings like fresh-squeezed lemon juice on the papercuts of my soul.

Click if you dare... or if you just enjoy lemon juice 'n papercuts.
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For all those Harry Potter fans on my Friends List, I give you the answer to that age-old hypothetical question:

WHAT IF INSTEAD OF BEING A BLOCKBUSTER STRING OF BOOKS AND MOVIES, THE HARRY POTTER STORY HAD BEEN A LOW-RES 3-MINUTE MUSICAL DANCE NUMBER SET IN THE 80'S?


And now we know. Oh, and yes it's work-safe.

Actually, i was quite impressed by the video! I'd love to see it performed live :)
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CLICK HERE FOR STEVEN SEGAL'S ASIAN EXPERIANCE LIGHTNING BOLT ENERGY DRINK


This is by far the most horrifying drink experience I can think of. First of all, wtf is Steven Segal's "Asian Experience"? Two cans of Sopporo and a Phillipino hooker? Why would I want to drink something that tastes like that?

And really, I can think of SEVERAL cheesy action stars I would rather drink the juices of so I could gain their power.
  • Chuck Norris (Walker Texas Ranger Red Raspberry Iced Tea)
  • Ralph Machio (Karate Kid Kooler)
  • Jackie Chan (JackieChanInnaCan)
  • Jean Claude VanDamme (Bloodsportorade)
  • Dolph Lundgren (Universal Soda)
  • Kurt Russell (Escape From Dehydration and/or Snake Pliskenergy)

The list could go on and on! But Steven Segal?!?!? I'm just... I can't even put in to words that make sense!
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From the same guy that did the trailer for "The Shining" as a romantic comedy, I give you the TERROR of Titanic and West Side Story.

All are of course work safe :)
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The feel-good movie of the year featuring that big old softy Jack Nicolson <======click there for the trailer! Work safe, even! But you *will* need sound.

I'm not much for the touchy-feely romantic comedies, but this one looks good. I mean REALLY good, like a return to Jack's most memorable roles. I dunno, i just get a "Feeling" from it, ya know?

(This joke will be lost on many of you, but trust me... this trailer is WRONG).
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CLICK HERE FOR THE MOST "WHOA" MOMENT OF MY WEEK

It's a clip from Stairway to Heaven, the part about the hedgerow and a bustle and all that stuff that makes no sense. But when played backwards, it CLEARLY says "Oh here's to my sweet satan..the one who's little path would make me sad, whose power is satan..he'll give you give you 666 there was a little toolshed where he would make us suffer, sad Satan".

And as we all know, Satan and The Liberals WON back in the early 70's thanks to marketing strategies just like this.
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Avast ye scurvey dogs, I've found the best plunder this side of King Neptune's Treasure! It be AN ON-LINE ELECTRIC RACE TRACK!!! I LOVE IT!!! You can build your track, choose the car you drive, choose your opponant, choose how good your opponant is... and it's every bit as fun as a real race track set only you don't have to clean your bedroom to set it up and the cat NEVER knocks your car off the track!

I declare this find to be the official Bestest Find In All Of Today!
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If'n yer Freinds List seems bo have been keelhauled by a vast bounty of "Yarrrr"s today, 'tis 'cuz it be International Talk Like A Pirate Day! YARRRRRRRR!!!

In honor of this auspicious occasion, I present to you the short film (about 3-5 minutes in all including the silly commercial and poorly-acted intro Pirates Vs. Ninja from G4TV's "Attack of The Show". It goes in to depth explaining the age-old rivalry between the two factions. Enjoy!

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