Three Peckered Billy Goat Review

[captain_slinky]

khristle gifted me a bag of Ravens Brew "Three Peckered Billy Goat" coffee for our anniversary, a coffee that we've been wanting to try ever since discovering the highly addictive and wonderful and stupendous "Dead Man's Reach" coffee from the same roaster; Three Peckered Billy Goat is their "Signature Roast", and I've just been waitng for our budget to allow for an $11 experimental coffee purchase. Brewed a pot yesterday, have now had two cups of the stuff, and here's my review:

Ravens Brew "Three Peckered Billy Goat" is an unapologetic coffee that is PROUD to be coffee. It's the grizzled old man that sits at the end of the bar drinking whiskey at 11am calling everybody else in the bar a "Goddam Faggit". It's a coffee that makes fun of you before, during and after you drink it. It says "Oh, you like a mellow-to-medium roast of beans from Kenya with just a hint of hazelnut? Yeah? Well F*CK YOU I'M COFFEE!" and then it proceeds to jump down your throat and rip through your body like mohawked marauders in a Road Warrior-esqu apocalyptic wasteland. "ATTACK, MY VERMIN... ATTACK!!!"


(Actual picture of Three Peckered Billy Goat Coffee in my tummy right now)

"There has been too much violence, too much pain. None here are without sin. But I have an honorable compromise. Just walk away. Give me the travel mug, the Splenda, the non-dairy creamer, and the whole pot of coffee, and I’ll spare your lives. Just walk away; I will give you safe passage in the wasteland. Just walk away and there will be an end to the horror..."

So all in all, yeah! I dig the coffee!

Comments

[aurora77]

MANLY-MAN coffee? Where MANLY-MAN must be capitalized and you can hear chest hair growing as you drink it?

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

You have to say it in Nick Offerman's voice, too... have you seen the Axe Cop cartoon yet? It's THAT MANLY. This coffee has a MUSTACHE, it's so manly!