ext_113378 ([identity profile] gamera-spinning.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] captain_slinky 2005-10-29 01:13 pm (UTC)

MIKE: ... so then the drunk guy goes, "I can't help being an idiot. I'm Canadian!"

CROW: Hahaha! Canadians sure are stupid!

[Suddenly, a WHISTLE is hear, and TOM SERVO enters dressed up in a mountie costume]

SERVO: Stop! This Canada-bashing has been going on for far too long, and I say no more!

MIKE: Don't you mean, "No more, eh?"

CROW: You're right! They are so stupid!

SERVO: No! I think it is time we join in solidarity with our brothers to the North, and that is why I sing this song of praise:

Oh I wish I were back in old Canada,
A land I shall never lampoooon.
How I pine for the ice-covered lakes of Manitoba,
And the beauty of Sas-ka-toooon!

MIKE: I've got this,

Oh I wish I were stuck in the hills of Alberta,
With some big dumb drunk guy trapping fur!

SERVO: Hey!

MIKE: As he scraped and he chisled all the moose dung off his boots,
I would find out he's the Prime Minister!

CROW: Oh I wish I were in the land that gave us Peter Jennings,
Alanis Morrisette, Mike Myers too!

SERVO: Now you've got it!

CROW: Wait, I take that back, I wouldn't go there even if you payed me!
Oh Canada is a place I must eschew!

SERVO: This is NOT in the spirit I intended!

MIKE: Oh come on, Tom, after all, they gave us Ed the Sock and Rush.

CROW: Yeah, what are you defending anyway? They're such feebs!

SERVO: Well, okay, I guess I'll try. Here goes:

How I wish I were blowing up Prince Edward Island,
Then going on to bomb Ontarioooo!
The DESTRUCTION of Canada and all of its culture
Is by far my favorite scenarioooo!

MIKE: Uh, that may be a bit too strong-

SERVO: No, Mike, you were right! This is MUCH better!!

Just where the hell does Canada get off sharing its borders
With countries far superior to it?
Why you lousy, stinking, francophonic, bacon-loving bastards,
Your whole country's just a giant piece of sh-

MIKE and CROW: Whoa!!

SERVO: I'm sorry... I have no sense of proportion!

MIKE: There there... musn't hate, musn't hate...

CROW: At least not so overtly!

MIKE: Yes, must DISGUISE our hate...

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