You've been infected by a piece of bio-mauware that is causing you to become a responsible, law-abiding adult. And thus, set a good example for your off-spring. Lending you plausible deniability in the future when said offspring asks you if you had ever done anything questionable on the internet. You'll be able to offer this action as proof of your righteousness. (And make yourself feel better when you castigate her for hacking the D.O.D....again)