"Bestie"

[captain_slinky]

Molly is having a play date with her bestest friend ever, Ben. We went to the $1 movie matinee ("Chipwrecked").

When we got to the theater, Ben looked very concerned. "What's wrong, Ben?" I asked.

"I... I should have probably told you this before but I... I didn't... I think you guys are weird" he said.

"What... you think I'm weird?" I tried to clarify. I figured that he thought I was weird because I sang along with the Phineas & Ferb CD in the van - LOUD and with FEELING.

"You're weird, Molly's weird, her mom is weird... you guys are weird and I don't like it, but I thought that if I told you before we left that you wouldn't want to be my friends any more". He seemed genuinely distraught over this.

"You think we're weird?" I replied, "That's GREAT! It's SO MUCH BETTER to be WEIRD than it is to be NORMAL! Weird people get to have all the FUN! Normal people are BORING! HOORAY FOR WEIRD!"

"Yeah but I'm normal and I only like normal people, but I thought if I told you that you wouldn't be my friends any more"

I spent most of the rest of the day pointing out to him just how weird he is, and how pretty much EVERYBODY is weird in one way or another, and he loosened up quite a bit so that was good... but I'm still concerned. Despite how much Molly loves this kid, I don't want to FORCE him to hang out with people he doesn't like and/or make him uncomfortable.

After the movie (which had popcorn that smelled weird, according to Ben), he requested that we all go to our house so that's a good thing... Molly and Ben have been playing happily for about an hour now, good mix of indoors and outdoors.

The further away from "The Incident" that I get, the more I remember that this is just how Ben *is*. He's truthful and very good at letting people know how he's feeling. He takes a while to get warmed-up and in to full Play Mode. I think I just took everything extra-hard and personal this morning because ugh, depression :(

And a headache.

And Alvin & The Chipmunks III: Chipwrecked.

And I stress-depressed ate half a small bag of Popcorn (which was only about 12 carbohydrates worth of popcorn, but they're the BAAAAAD carbohydrates).

Comments

[hannah easterson (from livejournal.com)]

Aww, it's ok. I think most kids go through a point where they realize that they are very different from their friends (particularly the shy ones, like I was) and they take a bit of time to figure out if that's ok. It was nice of you to be there to point out that it IS ok and why. I'm sure if he didn't want to be with you guys, he'd behave a lot more closed-off and uncomfortable. Clearly he was concerned about you wanting to remain his friend, so that's a good sign.
Feel better! Remember, Everybody is weird, that's what makes us cool, advil helps with headaches and popcorn is delicious (and you only ate a small, I could down an extra large in a heartbeat). Things will look brighter!

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I was kind of proud of how the whole thing ended up and how I handled it and turned it around... this is why I like writing stuff out on LJ so I can read it back, get input from other people, reflect on it... this is nice :)

[jennawaterford.livejournal.com]

Ah, stuffy kids. One hopes he can continue to be influenced to think outside his tiny little box, but it is sad.

And I imagine he's probably too young to get it if you started calling him some version of Vernon Dursley...

[lynna12000.livejournal.com]

I think you responded appropriately. I don't think that you have to worry about Ben and Molly no longer being friends. He obviously finds your opinion of him important.

He's been in school long enough to realize that your family and his family are different. You take Molly places and do things that HIS dad doesn't do with him; that OTHER dads typically don't do with their kids midweek. At a guess, his dad has probably expressed envy that HE can't do the same for Ben.