captain_slinky | (no subject)

Our neighbors ("Mullet Man & Crack Whore" for referal purposes) had one of their "Disagreements" tonight; she ran out the door screaming bloody murder, he chased after her yelling obscenities. When we goth heard the very loud SLAP of a fist hitting a person, Crystal called the police. When she called it in, she gave the police a VERY thurough description, exact address, everything; and she asked that we remain anonymous.

And here's where it gets funny.

10 minutes later, we hear a knocking at our door. I ignore it, thinking it's someone knocking on our neighbors door. But no! A cop shines his flashlight in to OUR kitchen window and says something. I go closer and say "What?"

He repeats himself, louder. he says "You the folks called in the anonymous report of a domestic disturbance?"

I directed him to the apartment next door.

So! Tomorrow morning (or maybe even later tonight) I fully expect to hear either Mullet Man or Crack Whore to come over and start one of the following conversations:

MULLET MAN: "Betcha think yer all better than me, dontcha? Call the cops on me, Faggit? Man, I BEEN on that 'Cops' show! You wanna piece of me?"

Or...

CRACK WHORE: "You had no right to call the police and have them take away my man! NO RIGHT! He may hit me, but he LOVES me! Now how am I gonna pay the rent? he was my bread-winner!"

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

*giggles* go get yourself a pitbull.
You can either trade it to them in hopes that they shut up...or you'll be their idol.

Reminds me of the time I was waiting for the court hearing on the injunction against my then-soon-to-be-exhusband. I asked the guy if there was a room I could wait in so I didn't have to share a Time magazine with the guy who was threatening me. The guy says no. Then a few minutes later TSTBX walks in, sits across the little hall from me and fixes me with an intent stare. I go back to the guy - "Are you SURE there's no other place I can wait?" "Oh yeah, why didn't you say something, you're supposed to be in that room down the hall!" *sigh* Ah, the people who are supposed to help the average citizen. Hope Mullet Man leaves you alone.

Oh, and I did explain the first time why I needed to wait in another room very slowly and succintly, not with the clever Time magazine remark.

So in the mind of person listening to your request, alll they heard was "Blah blah blah blah TIME MAGAZINE blah blah better than you because I can read blah blah stuck-up bla blah". No wonder he didn't respond to your request the first time!

No, actually, I told the guy, "Look, I'm here for an injunction against my soon-to-be-ex. I really don't want to run into him beforehand. Isn't there some other place I can sit?" No, I wrote the TIme Magazine remark trying to be all clever and witty at 6 am. I should know better. I didn't even make sense when I tried to deconstruct the situation a second time! Sorry d00d! I am a tard.

Still not making sense, so I'm just going to re-construct it in my own way for my own personal use in my head. Trust me, it's best this way... and no one gets hurt!

So let's see... you were fighting vampires with Bruce Campbell at your side, when something happened. There! Great, engrossing sotry that I'll remember forever!