captain_slinky: (Default)
captain_slinky ([personal profile] captain_slinky) wrote2005-09-26 05:26 pm

"Oh, do you have a little girl?"

Yes I m an expectant father. Yes, I am proud-as-punch to tell you all about my little girl (saw her for the first time last week on the ultrasound), what the due-date is (February 4th), the names we have picked out (leaning towards "Molly" but still working on getitng the missus to agree to "Lois Lane") and any other little tid-its I feel like sharing. There is only one situation where I really hate to hear the "Oh, do you have a little girl" question, and that's when I have a pile of little girl clothes n my arms at a garage sale or Thrift Store. I mean here I am, BIG GUY, BIG load of pink frilly things that (if i REALLY tried) I MIGHT be ale to fit my left foot in to. I'm just so tempted...

"Oh, do you have a little girl?"

Nope! But I *do* have a fetish! So... twenny-five cents for this adorable onesie? I'll TAKE IT!

[identity profile] captain-slinky.livejournal.com 2005-09-27 02:15 am (UTC)(link)
"So you like my daughter, eh? Well you are in luck, son... she is a DAMN fine lay!"

[identity profile] tfcocs.livejournal.com 2005-09-27 02:22 am (UTC)(link)
If nothing else works, that line will ensure her chastity until marriage, if not for many years afterwards! But what if she is a lesbian?

[identity profile] agelesseuridice.livejournal.com 2005-09-27 04:18 am (UTC)(link)
then he can hang out rating the babes at the bar.

[identity profile] captain-slinky.livejournal.com 2005-09-27 04:26 am (UTC)(link)
Naaaaaaah... I'll just send her to Bible Camp! They'll straightn 'er out!

Parening is SO FRIGGIN' EASY if you just let The Pope do it for you!

[identity profile] captain-slinky.livejournal.com 2005-09-27 04:23 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, then I just disown her. Yes, it's JUST THAT EASY!!!

This parenting crap is gonna be a SNAP!