Only after midnight do they call

[captain_slinky]

12:01AM: "I'm tellin' ya, I've had it hooked up before and I didn't need no stupid cable modem! I just screwed the coax directly in to the back of my computer and away I went! Yes, it was when I was with Comcast about 7 years ago! I know what I'm doing! Watch! I'll show you!"

(Customer puts down the phone and proceedes with 15 minutes of rustling around, swearing at cables, crashing and banging)

12:16PM "Where the hell does that cable screw in to the back of my computer? Did you guys flip a switch and make it go away?"

Comments

[nani-ka.livejournal.com]

"Actually, Sir, when Comcast fired the Stealth Cable Disconnect Ninja, they gave up all license to such advanced technology as the 'Modem-Free' connection, the 'No Router Needed' wireless service, and the 'Magic Button' tech support option. As a result, we are forced to make such compromises as the use of mundane cable modems, wireless routers, and phone troubleshooting techniques. However, as Comcast is eternally concerned with the comfort & ease of connection provided to their customers, our Marketing Department has teamed up with Human Resources to again provide the Free 24-Hour Sushi Bar and Wired­™ Energy Drinks requested in their re-employment negotiations. Rest assured, as soon as the construction of these facilities is complete, Comcast Customers will again be able to enjoy the features provided previously, at no additional cost."