captain_slinky (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
captain_slinky) wrote2006-03-08 07:05 pm
captain_slinky) wrote2006-03-08 07:05 pm
Guilt
Guilt that "The Incident" at work means I won't be getting a bonus this year.
Guilt that the guy whom "The Incident" involved aparently quit his job and moved away over "The Incident".
Guilt that I didn't get up at 4 with The Baby last night to just let![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
khristle sleep.
Guilt thatkhristle spent the evening and morning vomiting.
Guilt that I spent all my convention money already and can't come up with more in time for a proper convention.
Guilt that I already bought the tickets.
Guilt that my Mom and my Sister had to come down to help out because Wife and Baby are both sick.
Guilt that my Mom and my Sister will be stuck in our tiny apartment at least over night with no real place to sleep.
Guilt I didn't do my job and makekhristle get up every two hours and feed Molly.
Guilt that Molly isn't gaining weight like she should be.
Guilt that I get to come to work for 8 hours a day for a "break" from the new baby.
Guilt when I want to use my non-work time for stuff that I can't do from work.
Guilt that I haven't kept the apartment clean.
Guilt that I haven't kept the kitty litter boxes clean.
Guilt that I sleep too much.
Guilt that I don't want to do more Overtime for Work.
Shame that I feel so much guilt.
Guilt that the guy whom "The Incident" involved aparently quit his job and moved away over "The Incident".
Guilt that I didn't get up at 4 with The Baby last night to just let
khristle sleep.Guilt that
khristle spent the evening and morning vomiting.Guilt that I spent all my convention money already and can't come up with more in time for a proper convention.
Guilt that I already bought the tickets.
Guilt that my Mom and my Sister had to come down to help out because Wife and Baby are both sick.
Guilt that my Mom and my Sister will be stuck in our tiny apartment at least over night with no real place to sleep.
Guilt I didn't do my job and make
khristle get up every two hours and feed Molly.Guilt that Molly isn't gaining weight like she should be.
Guilt that I get to come to work for 8 hours a day for a "break" from the new baby.
Guilt when I want to use my non-work time for stuff that I can't do from work.
Guilt that I haven't kept the apartment clean.
Guilt that I haven't kept the kitty litter boxes clean.
Guilt that I sleep too much.
Guilt that I don't want to do more Overtime for Work.
Shame that I feel so much guilt.
I've got you beat
Guilt over the fact that anything I do or have done since dec 8th 2005 seems to be killing me or my wife
Guilt that all I do is sleep, work, and spend time with her while she is on life support, anything else, like eating, is only done while I do one of those three things or on the way to one of those
Guilt that I am not maintaining my health or life or sanity while she is losing hers or trying to regain it, so I can be there for or with her as much as possible
Guilt that if I am for or with her as much as I want, I am giving up sleep or work, and I can't lose my job because then she loses the health insurance that pays for the life support, and I shouldn't lose my sleep because I can feel my reserves are way too low and I could be on life support myself if it keeps up, but I can't not be with her
Guilt that every time work or sleep overtakes me so much I cannot be with her, her health seems to take a turn for the worse
Guilt that I am even typing this in or thinking of this stuff or not thinking of it as much as I should
disengaging thinking now...
Good night! :)
Re: I've got you beat
And as a technicality, I now get to *add* to my list "Guilt over thinking my problems are so high-and-mighty when a new found friend has a loved one on Life Support"! And you know why? Because this is *MY* Pitty-Party!
Help yourself to cake and punch while I go get you a hat :)