Poor lil' Ooompa Loompas

[captain_slinky]

Was listening to the 1970's "Willy Wonka" sound track over the last few nights, and this has really been bugging me.

It seems that the Oompa Loompas either had (a) A Death Song for each and every possile industrial incident, or (b) A Death Song for each and every "Guest" of Mr. Wonka. Either way, here's my issue with that.

• Fat kid falls in the chocolate and gets sucked in to a big tube; Oompa Loompas are ready to go with a musical number.
  
• Rude kid snatches some gum and turns in to a Blueberry; Oompa Loompas are ready to go with a musical number.
  
• Spoiled kid wants a goose and gets thrown in the trash; Oompa Loompas are ready to go with a musical number.
  
• Poor kid steals soda-pop while no one is looking and NEARLY GETS CHOPPED IN TO A GAZILLION PIECES BY A HUGE FRICKIN' FAN... musical number scratched. Oompa Loompas prepare for "Kid Watches Too Much TV" musical number instead.

My big concern hre is WHAT HAPPENED TO THE CHARLIE BUCKET DEATH SONG?!?!? These things don't just HAPPEN, you know! A group of investigative Oompas had to research NOT ONLY little Charlie Bucket, but also all the possible deaths he might encounter based upon his psyche evaluation. "He's a poor kid, he'll probably try to swipe something when no one's looking. Only non-securable location is the Fizzy Lifting Drink area... put in a giant fan. We'll CUT that bitch!" Then it was off to the song writers and the choreographers to put together all the posible dance numbers and songs:

OOM-pa LOOM-pa doompity-DOOR!
What do you get when you're so friggin... POOR!
Only way you can eat is because your Mom's a three-dollar... WHORE!
You think you have to steal and steal... some... MOOOOORE!

And then it's time - SHOWTIME! The lighting has been set, the casting has been done, the last dress rehersal went perfectly... ll you've got to o is wai for kid to steal something and get hurt. Word filters through the backstage area "THE POOR KID HAS TAKEN A DRINK! PLACES EVERYONE! 3 MINUTES TILL SHOWTIME!"

Tension builds. This will e Tony Oompa-Loompa's first number as the Lead Oompa; this is his BIG BREAK! If how does good here and gets noticed, it could mean big things for this little man! Fingers crosed, everybody telling each other to "break a leg". A little prayer circle forms in the corner and they all ask God for a good performance. "1 MINUTE TO GO! PLACES EVERONE!"

And then the Stage Manager gets the bad news. "Sorry everyone, looks like the big 'Poor Kid' number has been scratched. Kid's Grampa was able to figure it out. I repeat, stand down everybody... the Poor Kid is alive. 'Kid Who Watches Too Much TV' players, you're up next! Let's go! Hustle!"

I can't help but feel REALLY SORRY for Tony and therest of the Oompa Loompas that didn't get a shot... not even on he Extended Collectors Edition DVD!

Comments

[valerie-valerah.livejournal.com]

I am in love with this entry. The song is the greatest...thing...EVER. <3

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

Aww, thank you! Feel fre to share it with your friends!

[sasjhwa.livejournal.com]

Ah, but what they tell me at the no prize department is that Willy is actually 1/100th oompa loompa, which is why they allow him to lord over them. Charlie is in fact 1/102nd oompa loompa (on his grandpa's side)and thus is also destined to rule over them. While Willy goes through all the motions unaware, the oompa loompas are actually well aware of his parentage and that he is in fact an oompa loompa himself THUS ENTITLING him to anything in the factory he wants and exempting him from the death song.

What was also not seen in the extended version DVD is that when Charlie took over, it sealed Willy's fate to be chocolate coated, pressure injected with whipped strawberry filling and served up with ice cream at the oompa loompa's 20 year "Appease the Ancestor" festival. Charlie's day will come soon enough.