The Four Trashy Food Groups

[captain_slinky]

After spending ENTIRELY too much time at http://thisiswhyyourefat.com/, I've formed a hypothesis regarding trashy food. Feel free to confirm/deny with your own speculations.

All "Trashy" foods fall in to one of four main categories:

• GLUTTONY - Anything based on the "Bigger is Better" principal. Giant burgers, meats stuffed inside of other meats, meats stuffed with cheese.. If it's more of something than any person should ever attempt to eat in one sitting, it's Trashy.
  
• ODD COMBOS - Anything that doesn't sound like it should go together, but there it is on your plate. Chocolate-covered bacon, a hamburger with a donut for a bun, potatoes filled with deviled Spam. To borrow from the fine folks at Reese's, "Two Great Tastes That Taste Great Together" are almost always Trashy.
  
• DEEP-FRIED - Self explanatory, isn't it? ANYTHING can be made Trashier by dipping it in hot oil till crispy.
  
• UNEXPECTED USE OF BACON AND/OR MAYO - This one almost didn't get it's own category, but after a lot of thought it proved to be necessary. The humble Cheeseburger becomes just a bit more trashy when you add Bacon. Stir mayonnaise in to your Ramen Noodles and suddenly the trash-factore multiplies by 10. Heck, even something as classy and healthy as a SALAD gets a certain bit of trash-cred when you smother it in bacon bits and mayo!

And there we have the four major categories. I can't think of any Trashy Eats that don't fall in to one or more of these categories, can you?

And no, non-modified snack foods such as Twinkies don't count. Those are "Junk Food", and don't become Trashy till you do something stupid to them such as deep-fry them or wrap them in bacon and Mayo :)

Comments

[das-prompt.livejournal.com]

http://www.baconnaise.com/

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

Exactly my point ;)

[rogh-sensei.livejournal.com]

I have the secret to the Ultimate Form of category 4. Baconnaise. Mayonnaise made with crumbled bacon and reserved bacon grease. Take one egg yolk, a teaspoon of dijon mayo, a teaspoon of lemon juice, and add 1/2 cup liquid bacon fat and 1/2 cup vegetable oil.

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

Sounds somewhat... awesome?

[rogh-sensei.livejournal.com]

It's fantastic on deli sandwiches.
You should definitely give it a try.

[rogh-sensei.livejournal.com]

Oh, right. You gotta run the food processor and drizzle in the oil SLOWLY to form an emulsion.
You can't use straight bacon fat or it will set up stiff in the fridge.

[collisions.livejournal.com]

How about food made from animals (or parts of animals) that are more frequently thrown out or at least not used as human food?

Examples - pigs' feet are usually ground up for dog or other animal feed, except for those which are pickled and sold at truck stops. Squirrels are normally, I dunno, ignored, except by some who make stew from them.

A special case of this could exist for food made from animals killed on the highway.

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

That goes under the "Odd Combos" category under a technicality. Odd Combos will be any list of ingredients that makes a person say "Really? Are you sure about that?"

In this case it's the combination of Pigs Feet and Brine. Or Squirrel and Frying Pan.