captain_slinky: (Default)
captain_slinky ([personal profile] captain_slinky) wrote2009-03-10 09:22 am

Guilty

I made a pot of chili last week that is SO POTENT, it causes nearly instantaneous gastric emissions. Also, it makes you fart so much you melt your underwear. Big, sloppy, noisy "Loud-N-Proud" farts that can't help but make you smile while everybody is running for cover and speed-reading The Bible just in case this really is The End.

We're both afraid to eat any more of it.

Logically speaking I KNOW that it's darned near impossible to eat a food that will cause instant fartification. I know that your tummy needs time to start digesting and releasing said gasses in to the Rear-Endrical area for expulsion, and that this digestive process can take up to 5 days to complete.

But that don't change the fact that half-way through a bowl of my chili you need to go change your pants.

[identity profile] con-grazia.livejournal.com 2009-03-10 05:54 pm (UTC)(link)
You are such a fartaholic.

[identity profile] captain-slinky.livejournal.com 2009-03-10 06:20 pm (UTC)(link)
I can quit at any time... I just don't want to. And really, why should I? Celebrities fart ALL THE TIME!

[identity profile] con-grazia.livejournal.com 2009-03-10 06:24 pm (UTC)(link)
That's what all fartaholics say!