Guilty

[captain_slinky]

I made a pot of chili last week that is SO POTENT, it causes nearly instantaneous gastric emissions. Also, it makes you fart so much you melt your underwear. Big, sloppy, noisy "Loud-N-Proud" farts that can't help but make you smile while everybody is running for cover and speed-reading The Bible just in case this really is The End.

We're both afraid to eat any more of it.

Logically speaking I KNOW that it's darned near impossible to eat a food that will cause instant fartification. I know that your tummy needs time to start digesting and releasing said gasses in to the Rear-Endrical area for expulsion, and that this digestive process can take up to 5 days to complete.

But that don't change the fact that half-way through a bowl of my chili you need to go change your pants.

Comments

[rogh-sensei.livejournal.com]

Silly Slinky. Don't you know not to put beans in chili?

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

The only time I don't put beans in the chili is if I'm making it Cincinnati Style!

[rogh-sensei.livejournal.com]

What style is that?
Authentic red chili is just meat in a chili sauce.

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

Cincinnati Style... Google it. Words can't do it justice.

[cast-aspersions.livejournal.com]

google = internet websites = words

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

Has anybody ever told you that those Smarty-Pants you're wearing make your ass look HUGE?

[cast-aspersions.livejournal.com]

INORITE

i went and googled it, though. i don't know if i want to eat it or if i want to ban it from the world.

[con-grazia.livejournal.com]

You are such a fartaholic.

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

I can quit at any time... I just don't want to. And really, why should I? Celebrities fart ALL THE TIME!

[con-grazia.livejournal.com]

That's what all fartaholics say!

[teegin.livejournal.com]

The scary part is I just finished making a slow cooker pot of fart chili myself about 2 days ago. I'm starting to think it's the altitude, or something in the air on the coast here because your right what should be a mild chili is turning out to be an alternate source of natural gas (and enough to turn a profit).

[nani-ka.livejournal.com]

Maybe i'm just eating a lot of beans lately.. but I ate a bowl of that chili along with a biscuit swiped from your counter & didn't have any issues until 8-ish hours later when my tummy informed me we were going for a sit-down. NOW.

Which was quick & mostly painless. I'd been expecting some thing a bit more... catastrophic.

Maybe its the biscuits? They do have baking soda as leavening, after all...

[jodijodijodi.livejournal.com]

Oh, I needed that laugh today. Thanks. :)