captain_slinky: (Default)
captain_slinky ([personal profile] captain_slinky) wrote2009-03-10 09:22 am

Guilty

I made a pot of chili last week that is SO POTENT, it causes nearly instantaneous gastric emissions. Also, it makes you fart so much you melt your underwear. Big, sloppy, noisy "Loud-N-Proud" farts that can't help but make you smile while everybody is running for cover and speed-reading The Bible just in case this really is The End.

We're both afraid to eat any more of it.

Logically speaking I KNOW that it's darned near impossible to eat a food that will cause instant fartification. I know that your tummy needs time to start digesting and releasing said gasses in to the Rear-Endrical area for expulsion, and that this digestive process can take up to 5 days to complete.

But that don't change the fact that half-way through a bowl of my chili you need to go change your pants.

[identity profile] captain-slinky.livejournal.com 2009-03-10 06:17 pm (UTC)(link)
The only time I don't put beans in the chili is if I'm making it Cincinnati Style!

[identity profile] rogh-sensei.livejournal.com 2009-03-10 06:41 pm (UTC)(link)
What style is that?
Authentic red chili is just meat in a chili sauce.

[identity profile] captain-slinky.livejournal.com 2009-03-10 06:46 pm (UTC)(link)
Cincinnati Style... Google it. Words can't do it justice.

[identity profile] cast-aspersions.livejournal.com 2009-03-10 11:56 pm (UTC)(link)
google = internet websites = words

[identity profile] captain-slinky.livejournal.com 2009-03-11 01:02 am (UTC)(link)
Has anybody ever told you that those Smarty-Pants you're wearing make your ass look HUGE?

[identity profile] cast-aspersions.livejournal.com 2009-03-11 01:51 am (UTC)(link)
INORITE

i went and googled it, though. i don't know if i want to eat it or if i want to ban it from the world.