captain_slinky (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
captain_slinky) wrote2009-06-24 01:53 am
captain_slinky) wrote2009-06-24 01:53 am
I think I'll call him Alex...
Why am I making a post at 1:53 in the morning? Because I'm VERY AWAKE RIGHT NOW.
Since all of us are kinda sick, we've been having problems with our sleep schedules in Casa del Pierce. And then I went and screwed things up even MORE by offering to drive Nani & Freak to the airport, which meant getting up at 3am yesterday.
So tonight Molly and I stayed in the living room to watch movies while Crystal attempts to sleep. It was about 1am the last time I remember being awake, because eventually I woke-up with Molly asleep in my arms and the sound of our stupid cats in the kitchen trying to break in to The Cat Food Bin because I had forgotten to feed them before passing out. Stupid, stupid cats.
I lay Molly down on the couch and I go to feed the Stupid Cats.
Only there aren't any cats in the Kitchen.
What *is* in the kitchen is a great big RACCOON, joyously eating up all the cat food. He wasn't scarred at al; he just looked up at me as if to say "Hey" before going back to the eating.
"Hey there, uhm... Raccoon. Alex. I think I'll call you Alex. Hey, uhm... Alex?"
"Yo?"
"Alex, I don't know how to really bring this up but, uhm, well... that's not your food."
"Oh? I didn't see any name on it so I figured it was for everybody. But if you'd rather that I not..."
"Well see, Alex, the thing is that this isn't your home, either. See, you're kinda what we'd like to call a 'Woodland Creature'"
"Oh, I see... I think I know where this is going..."
"Yeah, so if you wouldn't mind terribly, would you mind making a break for the pet door as if I had startled you or something?"
"Oh, sure, sure! I can totally respect that! Let me just... ugh! Tight fit! But... there. I'm out. Is it okay if I just hang here for a while till you fall asleep again, then come back in and finish eating?"
"NO, ALEX! I would prefer that you stay OUTSIDE from now on! You're a RACCOON! You probably have RABIES or something!"
"Dude, harsh. I never pegged you for a Racist."
And with that, Alex left.
As i hunted for a way to secure the pet door and keep it closed, Alex kept poking his nose in through the little door.
"Dude, we're still Bros, right?"
"ALEX GET OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW I MEAN IT!!!"
"Okay, i understand. You're tense. I'll come back later."
This was a much more relaxed wildlife encounter than I had ever expected. Back on The Farm, critters knew to be afeared of humans. Just rattling the doorknob was enough to send them scattering to the far corners of the night. But even as I was swatting at Alex with a broom and throwing things at him to get him off our patio, he kept looking at me like I had seriously hurt his feelings. Big, soulful puppydog eyes :(
Now The Cats are pissed that they can't come and go as they please. They are currently digging at my pet door barricade in hopes that I'll just let them come and go as they please once again. Fat chance, at least not tonight. They can go ahead and stay outside with Alex and talk about what a dick of a room mate I am.
Since all of us are kinda sick, we've been having problems with our sleep schedules in Casa del Pierce. And then I went and screwed things up even MORE by offering to drive Nani & Freak to the airport, which meant getting up at 3am yesterday.
So tonight Molly and I stayed in the living room to watch movies while Crystal attempts to sleep. It was about 1am the last time I remember being awake, because eventually I woke-up with Molly asleep in my arms and the sound of our stupid cats in the kitchen trying to break in to The Cat Food Bin because I had forgotten to feed them before passing out. Stupid, stupid cats.
I lay Molly down on the couch and I go to feed the Stupid Cats.
Only there aren't any cats in the Kitchen.
What *is* in the kitchen is a great big RACCOON, joyously eating up all the cat food. He wasn't scarred at al; he just looked up at me as if to say "Hey" before going back to the eating.
"Hey there, uhm... Raccoon. Alex. I think I'll call you Alex. Hey, uhm... Alex?"
"Yo?"
"Alex, I don't know how to really bring this up but, uhm, well... that's not your food."
"Oh? I didn't see any name on it so I figured it was for everybody. But if you'd rather that I not..."
"Well see, Alex, the thing is that this isn't your home, either. See, you're kinda what we'd like to call a 'Woodland Creature'"
"Oh, I see... I think I know where this is going..."
"Yeah, so if you wouldn't mind terribly, would you mind making a break for the pet door as if I had startled you or something?"
"Oh, sure, sure! I can totally respect that! Let me just... ugh! Tight fit! But... there. I'm out. Is it okay if I just hang here for a while till you fall asleep again, then come back in and finish eating?"
"NO, ALEX! I would prefer that you stay OUTSIDE from now on! You're a RACCOON! You probably have RABIES or something!"
"Dude, harsh. I never pegged you for a Racist."
And with that, Alex left.
As i hunted for a way to secure the pet door and keep it closed, Alex kept poking his nose in through the little door.
"Dude, we're still Bros, right?"
"ALEX GET OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW I MEAN IT!!!"
"Okay, i understand. You're tense. I'll come back later."
This was a much more relaxed wildlife encounter than I had ever expected. Back on The Farm, critters knew to be afeared of humans. Just rattling the doorknob was enough to send them scattering to the far corners of the night. But even as I was swatting at Alex with a broom and throwing things at him to get him off our patio, he kept looking at me like I had seriously hurt his feelings. Big, soulful puppydog eyes :(
Now The Cats are pissed that they can't come and go as they please. They are currently digging at my pet door barricade in hopes that I'll just let them come and go as they please once again. Fat chance, at least not tonight. They can go ahead and stay outside with Alex and talk about what a dick of a room mate I am.
no subject
I was still upset that I didn't have a weapon with me when I opened the bedroom door. Methinks I need a BB gun!
no subject
no subject
no subject
B) Freak on a plane, oh my. Nanni is braver than I thought.
C) I would dock the cats pay for allowing Alex access to a restricted area.
no subject
B) We can only hope that Sam Jackson is on that plane so he can say he's SICK of these muthafuckin' Freaks on this Muthafuckin' PLANE!
C) Cats could care less. In their eyes, I'm the one at fault here - I let Alex come in and eat all their food!
no subject