captain_slinky (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
captain_slinky) wrote2009-08-30 01:34 am
captain_slinky) wrote2009-08-30 01:34 am
Bonding
Forcing my kid to bond with her Grandmother from Ohio by actively avoiding Molly-Daddy interaction is difficult, but well worth it :)
Over the last month-and-a-half or so, I've come to realize that I'm... Different. From 98% of all other parents I know. MOST parents I know are regular adult human beings who crave "Me Time" and NEED somebody to takeover watching The Kid/Kids at least once a week so they can unwind, or get stuff done, or go shopping, or whatever.
Me, I LOVE taking Molly places and doing stuff with her! I build my entire day, every day, around what she wants to do :) Unfortunately, this doesn't lead to a lot of "Social" time for her. She prefers deserted playgrounds over active ones full of kids. She'd rather stay here and ride her bike with me than go to a Playland.
I worry that this is just me projecting my own anti-social tendencies on her, or if she's really that much of a loner. I try to give her all the options for a day... offer her lots of social trips like active parks and such... but she always chooses intimate "Daddy Molly" activities.
And I think I might like those Molly-Daddy activities too much for her own good :(
Over the last month-and-a-half or so, I've come to realize that I'm... Different. From 98% of all other parents I know. MOST parents I know are regular adult human beings who crave "Me Time" and NEED somebody to takeover watching The Kid/Kids at least once a week so they can unwind, or get stuff done, or go shopping, or whatever.
Me, I LOVE taking Molly places and doing stuff with her! I build my entire day, every day, around what she wants to do :) Unfortunately, this doesn't lead to a lot of "Social" time for her. She prefers deserted playgrounds over active ones full of kids. She'd rather stay here and ride her bike with me than go to a Playland.
I worry that this is just me projecting my own anti-social tendencies on her, or if she's really that much of a loner. I try to give her all the options for a day... offer her lots of social trips like active parks and such... but she always chooses intimate "Daddy Molly" activities.
And I think I might like those Molly-Daddy activities too much for her own good :(
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All the time together is (in my opinion), extremely healthy.
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When Kaiti was this age, up until she was about 10 actually, she was my shadow. She never left my side... ever! She was home schooled at this point, if you remember, and literally was with me every moment of every day.
But not to worry... Once she hit puberty, she wouldn't have anything to do with me... For about a week.
At 16, she's very close to me. We talk, share things, are the envy of all her friends. They call comment on how nice it must be to have a mom you can talk to and do things with. I'm the cool mom.
The difference I've noticed now is that although we are extremely close, she has slowly ventured out into the social aspect of teenage-hood. She has a small group of well choosen, very close friends rather than a large group of kids that hang out together. She handles her friendships better than most of her friends because she values them more. She enjoys her time away from home and parents more because it's not the norm.
On the other hand, she's also more responsible and mature than most of her friends (don't tell her I said that). She reads and has conversations about things most kids her age aren't even aware of, let alone interested in.
She also doesn't mind occupying her own time. There are days she spends in her room with a book and we don't see her unless we look for her. Others she's begging for us to keep her from boredom.
I think she's more socially adjusted than most I see her age. And I think that has a lot to do with all the together time we had when she was younger.
Look at it this way...
Pretty soon, she's going to be going to school. She'll meet people there. Enjoy her while you have her... Before those little monsters convince her parents are weird :)
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That's pretty much how I approach it, but Crystal... Crystal was one of those kids who (a) had 3 brothers and (b) had 7 billion cousins all living in the same town as her growing up. SHe kinda freaks that Molly isn't getting to interact with kids, is afeared that I'm doing something terrible to her social development. And her fear bleeds over in to me whenever she mentions it.
I was an Only Child, I didn't need "Play Dates", I developed into QUITE the little social fellow :)
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Because I stepped up and became a leader, I think it was easier for her. I was still there, I was still available.. But she was able to branch out a bit while still feeling safe with mom.
Now, I'm not saying go start your own troop... although if you got in with the right co-leader, you'd have a BLAST, and so would the girls. But Molly is almost Daisy age (the lowest level of GS) and it would be a way for her to be social, do things she likes to do, and still allow you to be there and be doing things with her.
Take it from me, parents who are involved in their troop and willing to help out and be there for the girls are few and far between.. They'd LOVE you :)
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