News

I don't EVEN want to read an article with the headline "Hopkins & Kidman To Make Human Stain". Luckilly, that news item was immediately followed by this one:

Bjork's Raunchy New Video
World Entertainment News Network--Icelandic popstar Bjork is set to shock fans by appearing topless in her new video. The wacky singer has stripped off for the film to accompany her new single PAGAN POETRY.

And director NICK KNIGHT has warned squeamish fans not to watch - as the raunchy video also includes graphic body-piercing scenes.

Knight says of the flick, "There are two obvious piercings right at the end. If anybody is squeamish they should avoid the last 20 seconds. The piercings are in the back. But it's not tribal or S&M - it's about a woman's love for a man."

The HUNTER hitmaker also had pearls sewn into her skin - as part of her revealing outfit.

Knight adds, "Her dress stops just below her breasts and she's sewn pearls into her skin. She approached me with the idea. Her original idea in Iceland was to sew pearls into her nipples. She wanted to show her sexuality."

This Just In...

"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."
-Benjamin Franklin

Today is JOKE DAY!!!

The SAS, the Army and the Police each send their best teams for an
endurance outward-bounds weekend to improve their skills. The instructor gathers them all together on the first day at the edge of a deep forest. He tells them that he wants each team to go into the woods, one at a time, trap and kill a rabbit and bring it out to show him.

The SAS daub themselves with boot polish, put on their ninja suits and stealthily go into the woods on their bellies. There is no sound. After about 3 minutes, a single gun shot is heard and they suddenly re-emerge from the trees carrying a rabbit with a single gun shot wound, right between the eyes.

Next, The Army team goes in fully camouflaged, tanks, RV's and canons roaring into the forest. With guns blazing, they faltten most of the forest with bullets flying all over the place. After 15 minutes, they re-emerge with a rabbit which has been completely shot to bits, but, at least they got the rabbit!

Finally the police go in, sirens wailing. They too wipe out lots of trees and bushes, purely through their bad driving skills and soon disapper from site. After 2 hours they re-emerge with a squirrel who is handcuffed to the Sargeant in charge. The instructor looks at the squirrel, looks at the sargeant and sends the police back in, demanding that they return with a rabbit and not the squirrel. Off they go again...

Hours go by, and day turns to night. Still no rabbit...

24 hours later, amid lots of noise and confusion, the police eventually return, again with the squirrel. This time he is handcuffed and covered in cuts, bruises and sporting two black eyes. The instructor questions the sargeant as to why he has again returned with the squirrel. The Sargeant then looks down at the squirrel who screams " OK, OK, I'm a f**king rabbit..."

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Today is one of the greatest days of the year; today is the day that both Sam Raimi and Weird Al Yankovick where born! Same year, same day! The director of the "Evil Dead" films and the master of the rock parody, born unto us on the exact same day! Whoda thunkit?