Captain's Log

Vs.


I had absolutely no control over this, I swear. The first Yahoo Image that wasn't stereotype picture of a "Nerd" costume, clip art or a personal picture of somebody who thinks of them self as a "Nerd" was this picture of Poindexter, Lewis and Booger from the 1980's film REVENGE OF THE NERDS.

And then in a bit of Cosmic Justice, the first qualifying image from the Google Image Search today was of Ogre from the 1980's film REVENGE OF THE NERDS.

THE SCENARIO: Already been done. In the first Revenge of The Nerds movie, Ogre (and the rest of the Alpha-Betas) were the losers. But then in Revenge of The Nerds II: Nerds In Paradise, Ogre switched sides and became an honorary NERD. So who really won here? In the best-left-forgotten "Revenge Of The Nerds III: The Next Generation", Ogre is nowhere to be seen but LEWIS has turned his back on his Nerdy past and is ashamed of what he has been. One can only assume that Ogre changed his life for the better after his Nerd Conversion, becoming one of those super-beefy Nerds who goes over-the-top for Ren Faire and Comic Con every year and comes in a costume that blows everybody away.

WINNER: OGRE!!!

VS.

From the search term "Cartoon Character" today, the number 1 image from Yahoo is Bugs Bunny! The rascally rabbit who has dodged countless attempted murders over the years at the hands of red-necks, hunters, mad chefs, opera singers and Martians (to name but a few).

And from Google, the number 1 image of a Cartoon Character is The Power Puff Girls! Imbued with a vast spectrum of ill-defined powers, each one of them in and of themself would be a formidable adversary for any evil... but put them together and they're practically UNSTOPPABLE!

THE SCENARIO: Bugs Bunny is relaxing in his rabbit-hole home in the forest, reading a humorously-named book and eating a plate of carrots, breaking the fourth wall and making witty comments to the audience when SUDDENLY, THE POWER PUFF GIRLS break the serenity of the moment by throwing one of Mojo Jojo's giant robots in to the forest, collapsing part of Bugs' home! Bugs Bunny declares (to no one in particular) that "Of course you realize, this means WAR!"

The Power Puff Girls, being children and all, are easily lured in to the wild schemes of Bugs Bunny. They receive many exploding cigars, facial shotgun blasts, cranial anvil indentations and many other attacks that would prove fatal to anyone who is not nigh invulnerable, all while Bugs Bunny employs half a dozen different wacky costumes and scenarios.

Eventually, as with anyone who has ever come up against Bugs Bunny, The Power Puff Girls admit defeat when they discover that they just can't seem to lay a finger on Bugs. They rebuild his home for him at super-speed and enjoy and evening of watching TV and eating carrots with him.

WINNER: BUGS BUNNY

{Take the 100 Things challenge!}

Click on that there banner... it pretty much explains it all and it sounds SUPER FUN! I'll be doing 100 HYPOTHETICAL BATTLES BETWEEN FICTIONAL CHARACTERS!!!

Using Maths and Science combined with my own above-average Smartitude, I will pick two random fictional characters and postulate a no-holds-barred fight between them, ultimately declaring one of them as the winner! By about the middle I'm sure I'll be hitting some roadblocks and have to do re-matches, grudge matches and even bracket-style fighting. MAY THE BEST FICTIONAL CHARACTER WIN!!!

I occasionally make off-color and crude comments, but I rarely ever use swear words. "Friend" me if you want to follow along :)