Captain's Log

The short of the story is that that pot of 7-Day Chili I was making today was a complete disaster. Literally.

First, I burned the beans. Not irreparably burned, but burned enough that I had to throw out half the beans.

Then i started The Chili Mix *shudder*.

Our local Shop & Carry had a sale on industrial amounts of certain seasonings the other day, and as I was pawing through I found a great mixture; Cheyenne Pepper, Cumin, Onion Powder and Granulated Garlic. HEY! That's pretty much CHILI POWDER!!! So for the same amount that i would have spent for a 2-ounce bottle of Chili pepper at the store, I now had the making for what came out to be ONE GALLON OF SEASONING.

I had two pounds of Chili Ground Beef in the fridge so I started browning it for my Chili. "How much of this new chili powder should I use" I wondered to myself. "Let's tryyyyy... 3/4 of a cup."

Stir, stir, stir.. the meat is coated nicely, I let it continue to brown for a bit. Then I got distracted and it started burning. Only instead of just smoke, it started to fill our house with a pungent Pepper Spray/Mace type of nerve toxin that made us all unable to breathe.

With our faces covered, Crystal and I were able to open all the windows, get the fan set up and remove the smoldering WMD from our stove to put it out on our patio. I sprayed it with the hose and it stopped smoking, so of course I thought "I wonder how it tastes".

The last thing I remember was saying to myself "Aww, that's really not all that hot" before spitting everything out of my mouth and trying to remove my tongue before my taste buds could anally rape it any further.

We went to Red Robin for dinner. I think I may have tasted a bit of something, but I couldn't tell you what it was. My tongue and amy tummy are very angry with me right now, and I'm sure that by tomorrow morning my Anus will also have something negative to say.

So then we came home and Crystal was the brave soul to go in to the house firsta sour little yellow canary. All clear, but there's till a burning smell? OH CRAP I LEFT THE BEANS BURNING ON THE STOVE WHILE WE WENT OUT TO DINNER!!!

Another smoldering pot on our patio being hosed down... this time I am not tempted to taste it.