Captain's Log

Today's happy memory is some long forgotten Saturday morning in the late 70's, the night after some big party my parents had thrown (or had eventually just "happened") out on The Farm. I woke up to go watch my cartoons alone, as I always did, stepped in to the living room and found the most awesome thing...

See, Saturday Morning Ritual at this time of my life was to get up, turn on the TV, get my First Breakfast (usually a big bowl of cereal), go get my Legos and my Star Wars figures and my GI Joes, get everything arranged around the coffee table and wait for the TV to finish warming up. Then it was cartoons accompanied by building Lego vehicles for the Joes and the Star Wars Guystill either (a) Stupid Sports Shows interrupted my cartoons or (b) My Mom called groggily from the bedroom "BRIAAAAAN! Could you bring Mommy a nice, big jar full of Ice Water?" which was my Mom's one Hangover cure - an old Mayonaise jar full of ice, with a little water poured over it. So basically I had a good 4 to 6 hours every Saturday morning all to myself to build worlds for my action figures!

So on THIS particular Saturday morning, I came out to the most incredible WORLD for my action figures to live in! There was some guy asleep on the couch, occasionally farting, which I think is important here because his methane had combined over-night with the cigar and cigarette smoke from the previous evening to preserve it *just perfectly* to be lit by the dawn's early light and create a dense, chest-high, 3-inch-thick layer of cloud cover! It was so beautiful... a slight green tint in the cloud cover made the quiet living room feel like an alien landscape, and I was a giant or a God of some sort looking down upon the land and deciding where to place my plastic Adam & Eve that would soon populate the entire floor.

Of course it couldn't last. I carefully ducked down as not to disturb the layer of clouds and crawled over to turn on the TV and got my toys, which woke up the sleeping stranger who I *think* mumbled something about having to be at work in 8 minutes. He got up, stumbled around getting his stuff together and left - completely unaware that he had destroyed the clouds over my world and all my plans for flying Lego spaceships through that atmosphere.

But at least I have that memory of how the living room was once a majestic, unspoiled Alien World :)


Food this weekend went wonderfully. Lots of Sauer Kraut, lots of chicken, a few "Old Fashioned" Hot Dogs. Only thing that came *close* to being a "Cheat" was a bottle of zero-calorie, zero-carb Rockstar Energy Drink because I'm also trying to avoid artificial sweeteners for as long as I can. I figure the more "Legal" things I avoid now - Nuts, Cheese, Artificial Sweeteners - the more things I can "Cheat" with later on. Like when I get sick of chicken and beef and pork and just want SOMETHING different, I can have a slice of cheese and revel in how wonderfully different it is without worrying about it being off my diet... at leastthat's my theory right now!

My first happy memory is sitting in the hallway of our little house out on the farm with my Mom during a storm when I was very young. Every time we had a storm of any kind that included heavy wind, thunder and lightning, she would grab all the blankets, some water, a Reader's Digest Condensed Classics book (we had gazillions of them) and a battery-operated radio, and head to the hallway that was the dead-center of our house. Close all the doors, wait for the power to go out (which it did) and tune the radio to the Mount Vernon radio station (because the Anacortes radio station didn't have real people there). I'd grab a stack of comics, a puzzle and *probably* a favorite stuffed animal or 12. And then we would just sit there till either the storm was over, the electricity came back, or my Dad got home.

There was no place safer in the entire world than that hallway, surrounded by my Mom and a gazillion blankets :)

Breakfast: Black Coffee, 2 baked chicken thighs
Lunch: Raw broccoli, 2 more baked chicken thighs
Dinner: Pork Chop

Breakfast - Skip
Lunch - Meat Balls with Awesome Sauce (what I have decided to name my veggie sauce) and parmesan
Dinner - Skip
Late-Night - Meat Balls and VELVEETA (ugh)!

Gym - None, 31.0 miles total

Clean - 20/10 x3

Last night at about MIDNIGHT I realized I had forgotten to eat anything since lunch time. I had meatballs in the fridge and for some unknown reason, I thought "I wonder how those would taste in a bit of melted Velveeta?"

(For those who don't know what Velveeta is, it's an orange brick of salt-flavored petroleum jelly. Oh it SAYS it's pasteurized processed cheese food, but I know better than that)

I have the velveeta for catering, it makes a great base for Macaroni & Cheese if nothing else!

penelopes_web asked me what type of diet I'm on, and if I'm getting the results I had hoped for. And that's... complicated.

I started the Atkins Diet during it's last resurgence in the late 90's and gained a small level of fame from it by writing humor articles for CarbSmart.com. I went from 420 pounds to right around 330 before I obtained my "Goal" - finding a mate for the purpose of companionship and reproduction :) During my time writing articles for CarbSmart, I gained a nice sized bunch of "Groupies" who mercilessly flirted with me, and eventually I fell in love with one of them :)

GOAL ACHIEVED!

We flew back and forth across the country to see each other, and eventually she moved here to Seattle to be with me. Once we moved in together, the diet was out the window - she had come from a very small town in Ohio and here in Seattle we have ALL THE FOODS, so I had to introduce her to GOOD Italian, GOOD Seafood, GOOD Sushi, GOOD Chinese, GOOD Pizza... even GOOD FAST FOOD! Over the course of a year or two, we both ballooned back up to our pre-Atkins weights and beyond - but we're fat and happy :)

Eventually, my darling bride discovered that the insurance I had through my work covered weight reduction surgeries and so we both got the Lap Band Surgery done, which let us both lose enough weight to remember how nice it is to buy clothes at a regular store rather than a "Big N Tall" shop. But then we started finding ways to work around the Lap Band, and our weights started climbing again. I was okay with this because, like I said, I already achieved my goal long ago... but my wife was very sad about it.

And so now what I'm doing is trying to inspire HER in to action through my own actions, and taking all my knowledge from Atkins and Lap Band and all the other dieting and nutritional information I've gathered and making my own "I'm okay with my body, I just want to feel healthy" regime.

The rules are:

• Low-Carb.
• If I'm getting carbs, they're coming from veggies and/or dairy products.
• Veggies, every day.
• Exercise for as long as it's fun, not an obligation.
• Cleaning is quite a workout, so try to get in at least one 20-minute cleaning session per day.

When I started this latest round of dieting about... 3 months ago? Started on May 30th... I weighed myself then and I was at 400 pounds. I'm now down to... dang, I just weighed myself two days ago, I should remember! It's somewhere around 350, I think? I've lost more weight than I thought I had lost, I know that much...

So yeah, it's working for me!

My two "Goals" currently are to build up my stamina for Disneyland, and to "Walk To Disneyland" on the exercise machines, logging the distance traveled each day :)

Breakfast: Pork Steak
Lunch: Stupid 24-carb Slurpee
Dinner: Crockpot Short Ribs

Gym: None, 28.8 Miles Total

Clean: None

Crystal came home kind of early from work and needed a nap, so Molly and I went OUT. I took a load of DVD's to Half Price Books, where a tiny Comic Book Convention broke out at their little comics section! There were 4 of us digging through the comics and waiting for the staff to price our books. Many conversations about how good this selection of quarter bin comics was, the best comics we ever found at a Half Price Books, the possibility of an Elf Quest movie... one girl even found what seemed to be a super-rare Legend Of Zelda Test Cartridge (over in the gaming area) for $60, last time I saw one of those it sold for over $500! It was agreed that she had the biggest "score" of the day :)

Breakfast: Taco Del Mar Whole Wheat Mondo Burrito no beans, no rice, extra meat, extra cheese (35 carbohydrates)
Lunch: Skip
Dinner: Pork Chop

Gym: None, 28.8 Miles

Clean: 20/10 x1

Took my sister and my niece to the Good Will Outlet yesterday, which resulted in lunch at Taco Del Mar. Thankfully, I knew what to have there from the old days of low-carbing! Then at night I cooked two salads (Greek Pasta - Classic Potato) for our Fourth Of July Pathfinder Event :)

Running late! Might update more later if i find the time :)

Breakfast: Pepperoni, Cheese and sugar-free Honey Mustard (1 packet mustard, 1 packet mayo, 1 packet splenda = Perfect dipping sauce)
Lunch: Skip
Dinner: Hot Wings, potato chips (DOH!)

Gym: None, 28.8 miles total

Clean: None

Yesterday was the first time this summer that Molly and I slept in. Like, TEN IN THE MORNING sleeping in! It threw off my whole day! And since it was SO HOT, they day became all about trying to find places that had air conditioning. Rushed to Bellevue for my allergy shot, then had breakfast/lunch at Top Foods (Molly had Chinese Food, I had pepperoni, cheddar and swiss cheese with the aforementioned Honey Mustard Dip), then I let Molly play in the Kids Zone place in Top for as long as possible (free hour of daycare while you shop WOO), and then we went home just in time to meet Crystal for Molly's doctor appointment. From the doctor appointment, we went to Red Robin where I had my first slip-up on the diet...

Ordered Hot Wings, which are usually a pretty safe bed for low-carb dieting... but these came served on a bed of KETTLE STYLE POTATO CHIPS! WTF?!?!? And the hot sauce was all over the chips, and the chips looked so delicious... I ate about half of them and yes they were VERY delicious. No real regrets, no shame, just hope I didn't screw things up. As a precaution, though, today is gonna be a meat-n-broccoli day (and probably stay that way for a few days).

Tonight, we work on our Pathfinder character sheets! Our next adventure is on THE FOURTH OF JULY!

Breakfast: 12 oz Almonds (yeah, I know)
Lunch: Skip
Dinner: Cream chese, salsa and pork rinds

Gym: None, 28.8 miles total

Clean: None

To tired to write right now. Woke up super-early even though we were up till 2am trying to pre-cook some food for today, since it's supposed to be a scorcher. Plan is to start mowing the lawn at 9 or 9:30, depending on how hard it is to assemble the new lawn mower, then get our of here before the REAL HEAT starts. Unfortunately, it's already hot AT EIGHT IN THE MORNING!!! UGH!!!

Breakfast: Bacon
Lunch: Skipped
Dinner: Noodleless Lasagna

Gym: 3.3 Miles, 26.8 Miles total

Clean 45/15 x1, 20/10 x1

Yesterday Molly and I spent the WHOLE DAY at home (other than our 4pm trip to the YMCA). We watched a lot of "Fetch! With Ruff Ruffman" on Amazon Prime Video, and did a whole lot of cleaning so she could earn "Molly Dollars".

MOLLY DOLLARS are a precursor to an allowance for Molly, only with a decidedly modern twist that I think will better prepare her for the pay structure of the job market that she's most likely to be entering in her adulthood.

A traditional allowance is structured like a salaried position; you have a list of chores, you do those chores every day, you get a "paycheck" every week that doesn't change depending on how much effort you put in to your work.

MOLLY DOLLARS are a task-based system of payment where we negotiate how much a chore or chores are worth, along with a sample list of things she could redeem those Molly Dollars for that ranges from 1 Molly Dollar (Popsicle, Candy, Control Of The Stereo In The car, etc) to 10 Molly Dollars (Stay Up All Night, Camping, Trip The The Aquarium, etc). She's quickly learning that her desire for candy and popsicles can keep her from getting anything *good*, and also learning the value of saving her hard-earned money for stuff she actually wants :)

Also, this has gotten Molly very interested in helping me clean so hey that's a bonus right there!

Breakfast: Bacon, 2 scrambled eggs
Lunch: Some weird Bacon-Rape Omelette (or whatever intimidating name they gave it) at IHOP.
Dinner: Pork and Asparagus

Gym: None (Shot Day, not allowed to do any "physical exertion"), 20.2 miles total

Clean: 20/10 x1

My Allergy Shot schedule has ensured that Molly and I will AT LEAST have lots of stuff to go and do twice a week, on Monday and Thursday when I go to get my allergy shot. After the shot we like to go to Half Price Books and pick out a dollar worth of comics, then maybe go out for lunch (on the cheap).

Summer Activities with her, I really need to concentrate on spreading them out or risk burn-out. For instance, today Molly and I are going to see the $1 Regal Cinemas Summer Movie Express - $1 per person lets you go and watch a movie that's available on DVD, only in a theater on the BIG SCREEN. The theater we're going to is in Lynnwood, which makes me think "OOH! And while we're there, we can go BOWLING! And go to THE MALL! And go to that WATER PARK we love! And visit THE COMIC BOOK STORE! And they have another HALF PRICE BOOKS there! And an awesome LIBRARY! And since we're kind of in the area, we can also go to the EVERETT GOOD WILL OUTLET! And then get SLURPEES! And..."

NO! PACE YOURSELF!

Must pace myself! One BIG thing per day, up to two LITTLE THINGS per day.

Breakfast: Skip
Lunch: 1 cup of peanuts
Dinner: 1/2 Costco Rotisserie Chicken

Gym: None, 20.2 miles Total

Clean: 20/10 x1

Last night, the Cult Classic was "The Puppet Master" from Full Moon Entertainment. I love th films of Full Moon, they are the closest thing to a Comic Book Experience that I'v ever seen in film :)

Yesterday was hot, and I spent the day with Molly doing a gazillion little errands.