Today, On Jenny Jones...

"Is your teenage son or daughter diplaying tendancies towards independent thought and/or free will, and you'd like to give them a Make-Over? Call Jenny now!"

Being unemployed, I get to see a lot of the trashier talk shows, such as Jenny Jones, Jerry Springer, and The Maury Show. I figure that at least once a week, they do a show exactly as I have described above. So they assemble a small group of teens... usually a few Punks, a few Goths, and possibly a few Juggalos.

"Let's meet Susan! Susan, it says here that you're just plain scarred of how your teen daughter dresses... what can you tell us?"

"Well Jenny *sob*... my little Lurleane has been wearing leather jackets, spiking her hair, and just recently... *gasp!* She got a facial piercing!"

So they bring the poor girl out, parade her around, the audience yells at her, then they take her back stage to dress her up all preppy. She comes back out again, all preppified, so Jenny and the audience can ooh, ahh, and tell little Lurleane how pretty she looks.

"So, Lurleane... don't you feel much better now that you've conformed and fit in with societies views of what can be accepted as normal? Don't you look forward to being as popular as Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen ("The Olsen Twins"), or Brittney Spears? And don't you feel so much better now that we've washed your brain for you so it's squeeky-clean and full of blind faith in America, Apple Pie, Mom, and whatever religious Dogma happens to be popular at the moment? And do you refuse the offerings of Satan and his agents, including but not limited to facial piercings, tattoos, Rock-and-roll music, cartoons, violence in movies, homosexuality and/or sexual deviance of any kind, leather clothing, and spiked hair? Of COURSE you do!"

Day of DOOM!!!

Today is Penny's Birthday! Happy Birthday! I'm just waiting for Death, Pestilence, or pretty much any one of the Four Horsemen to drop by now and wish her a Happy Birthday in that special way that they do every year.

Happy Birthday, Penny... let's hope for no horsies!

Love these things!

This would be very creepy, intrusive, and great proof of astrological destiny and such... if it weren't for the fact that you could say 98% of this stuff about 88% of the populace. Go ahead and read it, only substitute your own name instead of mine. It's REMARKABLE how dead-on it is in places, yet so totaly off in others!

What's My Name Mean?

Brian:

You have a tendency to resist change. Don't miss opportunities for growth. You have a love of creature comforts, but must learn to handle money. You enjoy a challenge. You can take thought-directed actions. You are relatively demonstrative in your affections. You enjoy being stroked verbally and physically. You have much enthusiasm with a driving attitude toward achievement in life. You can handle details well. You have a methodical mind.

James:


You have a love of travel and adventure, and you enjoy sports. You also have a very strong sense of fair play and want justice. You have a need to be up front. You are always involved with projects and things to do. You can be quite inventive and quite curious. You try to be prudent. You have good business acumen.

Pierce:


You don't fair well under inharmonious conditions. You are very peace loving. You can get very upset when you are frustrated. You need to learn to give and receive love for love's sake. You have a need to be assured of affection. You need to learn to be expressive. You are a person who cannot tolerate being misunderstood. You have a lack of confidence in your mental abilities and do not like being forced into giving your opinion. You are clever, inventive, imaginative and youthful. You enjoy socializing. You need to learn to be expressive. You are a person who cannot tolerate being misunderstood.