Decoding the Depressive Nature of The 2nd Annual Rock Ballad Ball

Received an email "Invitation" to the Second Annual Rock Ballad Ball on Valentines Day at a local gambling establishment that I won't name, but it rhymes with "Poolalip Casino & Resort". For some reason it just strikes me as the most depressing Valentines Day event, and I'm not entirely sure why? So I figured I'd break it down here, see if I can pinpoint it.

The advertisement - oops I mean "Invitation" reads as follows:

"Spend Your Valentine's Day At The 2nd Annual Rock Ballad Ball! Two great bands paying tribute to Poison and Bon Jovi. Plus, the best Rock Ballad Videos of the 80's and 90's. Includes Dinner and Dessert Buffet."

Why does that sound so sad to me? I have it broken down so far in to two categories; The Show and The People Who Would Come To This Show On ValentinesDay.

THE SHOW: They have not ONE but TWO! TWO "Tribute Bands" playing the same show, yet they can't fill the evening so they have to fill in with a bunch of music videos? I imagine it'll go down something like...

"THANK YOU, POOLALIP CASINO & RESORT! Wow, what a crowd! I am, of course, a guy dressed up like JON BON JOVI (pause for multiple "woo" reactions from the crowd) THANK YOU!

And now, I'm just gonna go ahead and...
press...

'Play' on this VCR...

here...

Okay, rock-n-rollers, I'm gonna fast-forward a bit... WOOOOOO! YEAH!

Okay, hang on...

AND THERE WE GO! Okay you crazy rockers, I'll be back in an hour to switch out the tape, dressed as BRET MICHAELS OF POISON WE GOT SOME POISON FANS IN THE HOUSE MAKE SOME NOISE WOOOO!"

THE PEOPLE WHO WOULD COME TO THIS SHOW ON VALENTINES DAY: What makes me really sad is that these fans were the Naughty Donkeys ("Bad Asses") of the late 1980's, with their designer acid-wash jeans torn *just right* and their big poofy hair teased out and sure it's easy to look back on it mockingly but back then it was *COOL*. It was the tattoo-and-nose-ring of it's time, you just HAD to do that to prove how different and unique you were. And now these cool people are being targeted with a romantic evening of watching TV with their loved one and a crowd of other folks who used to be acid-wash bad-asses, where the tipping-point sales pitch is designed to make them say "Oooh and a buffet! That's what makes it SUPER-ROMANTICFOR VALENTINES DAY!"

And so these people who come to this show will be dressed in their finest recreation of 1989 fashion, and they'll sit at their table in silence, and after the third or fourth Winger song comes on they'll sigh and say "Well, I think I'm gonna go ahead and hit the buffet..."

Maybe that's what makes me so sad, is that this is where my mind goes with this? That I assume the show is going to be terrible and the people are going to be sad?