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122 - Dreams of Shame
May. 24th, 2015 08:50 amThe effects of the movie Tomorrowland followed me in to my dreams last night. All my life I've wished for nightmares about Zombie Survival and never gotten them... now that they bring me shame and discomfort, I got *exactly* what I had wanted for so long :(
Glorified apocalyptic dystopian violence.
I need to stop thinking about this. I need to distract myself. Unfortunately, all my go-to distractions just lead me back to thinking about how ashamed I am.
I can't even begin to think about Disneyland, the movie made me feel... unworthy. Like I don't *deserve* Disneyland any more (if I ever did). But the movie also told me how I *can* become worthy, I just... I just need to DO IT.
btw, none of this stuff is actually IN the movie... these are independent thoughts that were stirred-up in me, and I highly doubt that very many other folks would get these feelings from the film.
And that's the really incredible bit of this film, the bit that I've literally NEVER had happen to me before - this film is CHANGING me. Or is that really the word? Maybe more of a "focus" or "Direction"? I have never, EVER had a film make me question myself like this one.
A year from now I'll look back at this post and either say "Wow that's where it all started" or I'll say "Wow what the hell was I thinking?" Two possible futures, I wonder which one I'll be in?
Glorified apocalyptic dystopian violence.
I need to stop thinking about this. I need to distract myself. Unfortunately, all my go-to distractions just lead me back to thinking about how ashamed I am.
I can't even begin to think about Disneyland, the movie made me feel... unworthy. Like I don't *deserve* Disneyland any more (if I ever did). But the movie also told me how I *can* become worthy, I just... I just need to DO IT.
btw, none of this stuff is actually IN the movie... these are independent thoughts that were stirred-up in me, and I highly doubt that very many other folks would get these feelings from the film.
And that's the really incredible bit of this film, the bit that I've literally NEVER had happen to me before - this film is CHANGING me. Or is that really the word? Maybe more of a "focus" or "Direction"? I have never, EVER had a film make me question myself like this one.
A year from now I'll look back at this post and either say "Wow that's where it all started" or I'll say "Wow what the hell was I thinking?" Two possible futures, I wonder which one I'll be in?
