GOOD NEWS, MY SAPHOTIC FRIEND!

[captain_slinky]

For the many wimmin-folk on my Friends List that are Bi or Gay, I've got great news! Aparently, Jesus doesn't hate you as much as he hates faggots!!! Isn't that great news?!?!?

Clicking on the link above you will find an article about "Threesoms Within A Christian Marriage" from http://www.sexinchrist.com. The whole thing is long winded and full of Biblical stuff, so I won't make you read it all. Instead, accept my Cliff's Notes version below, in handy bullet-point format!

• THE QUESTION: Every time a boy touches another boy's naughty-tingly bulbous parts, it makes The Baby Jesus cry. But I *really* wanna have a threesome! How would a good Christian go about doing this without gettign Jesus all pised off?
  
• THE ANSWER: Two guys and a girl is a definite no-no. Sur you might never actually *do* any gay stuff with the other guy, but you might see his "Spanky & The Gang", and that would be totally Gay. But it never really SAYS anywhere in the Bible that two CHICKS can't get it on, so that's the way to go!
  
• BUT ISN'T THAT ADULTRY?: Let me check... Nope! I gues Jesus looks the other way in these situations. THOU SHALT NOT COMMIT ADULTRY unles it's like a totaly smokin' hot chick and she's doin' it with your wife as well.
  

Comments

i do have one small problem with this...

[agelesseuridice.livejournal.com]

Some how I have a feeling Mr. God Fearing Lout would think that if his wife was getting some, he should be getting some too.
And you just know MGFL wouldn't want just his wife, and frankly if he gets too close to me with his little bits and pieces, there will be a Bobbitt incident.

Re: i do have one small problem with this...

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but you're a woman; just a posession. You're not allowed to object, silly!

I tend to have a problem with this too

[lunachik72.livejournal.com]

Because quite frankly I can't have sex with someone I don't respect and any man who thinks that God is a big ol' perv that really gives a flying fart who we sleep with... well that kind of man doesn't have my respect so if he's not willing to do a boy girl boy sandwich as well as a girl boy girl or girl girl boy sandwich... welll then he's not welcome in my bedroom. :P And if that hurts anyones head... *whoops was I naughty?* ;)

Re: I tend to have a problem with this too

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but you're forgetting that you, as a *woman*, are little more than a posessiuon to us. SO really you have no right to refuse!

Silly wimmin, thinking they can make the rules :)

[lunachik72.livejournal.com]

right... say that to your WIFE and see how much nooky you get :P

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

Thank GAWD we're not Christian!

[khristle.livejournal.com]

He says it all the time but since I know he is just one great big Devil's Advocate I can ignore him :)

He would be the first one to object to another woman in our bed. *I* hog the middle of the bed enough as it is. Two of us would make it unbearable for him!

[nani-ka.livejournal.com]

This... is so disturbing... and hysterically funny... I need to go home & actually read those articles. I'm pretty sure they're not technically "work safe."

and, HEY! SO not FAIR!