So bad

[captain_slinky]

My Dad called me this morning because they needed to tell me about Beth. Beth called asking if she can come back to stay with them, and they said yes.

Not sure why, but that made me SNAP.

I went on a 40-minute tirade of pure bile and anger towards Bet the likes of which I have never unleashed. The guy who turned my Comic Book Store in to a front for him to molest teenage girls? The Girlfriend who dumped me on New Years eve because she was afraid I would take back all the Christmas presents I had bought her if she did it any sooner? The guy who fired me because of something I said in a personal one-on-one conversation with a friend at work? The girl who stole my wallet TWICE? NONE OF THEM got as much vocal anger as Beth did this morning.

It's like every time she pulled this shit in the past, I've let it slide. Every time she "Cleaned Up" and then threw her life away (which was at least once every few months for my entire life), I have always been all about turning the other cheek, forgiving and forgetting, blah blah blah...

...And all this time I've been back-ordering all that anger and resentment. All the awkward holidays. All the ruined plans. All the criminals, derelicts, junkies and Serial Killers I had put up with all my life. They just all EXPLODED.

I made both of my parents cry during this conversation. Making my Mom cry is difficult... making my Dad cry is IMPOSSIBLE.

They asked me a question flat-out and I answered truthfully. If beth were there, would I be less likely to bring my familly to their house? And the answer is yes. Not knowing if we're going to have "Good beth" or "Drunk Beth" is reason enough for me to not want to come over.

I think I'm very done with her in my life. it's weird to feel that way.

I can't keep on typing about this... It's to exhausting for me. I need to take my daughter outside and play with her now.

Comments

[indigo-tide.livejournal.com]

Myself being in some very odd family arrangements I can understand your anger towards your sister.

As you play with your daughter, if she had a problem in her future life, which I doubt because she has a fantastic parent, would you be able to turn your back on her?

I am sure it's hard for your parents, but I'm sure they feel they are doing what they have to do.

Distance yourself if you feel a need to. I have done the same with my father. But you will find she will always be in a little corner of your life reminding you that they are there.

[fritters.livejournal.com]

At some point you have to stop giving people chances and take care of yourself. You have a family now and have to think of them as well.

[the-4th-doctor.livejournal.com]

Sometimes, man, you need to say things like this because they need to be said. No one likes upsetting others, but if you're not honest you're not doing anyone any favors.

[rogh-sensei.livejournal.com]

*pats you on the back* I'm glad you got that off your chest. And honestly, as much as hurting people sucks, they needed to hear exactly how you feel.

[waygroovy.livejournal.com]

I can't shake the feeling that if I could just cram a little bit of sense in my little bro, that everything would be fine. He'd stop being a dumb whiny bum, get a job, and stop impregnating teenagers he met on the internet.

It gets me major down every time that thought process creeps up into my head.

Then I let it out and am told that I'm a great husband, and a pretty darn good dad too.

But it doesn't help. I still wanna fix him.

[abandonada.livejournal.com]

Stick to your guns, man. Things won't be any different--until they are. But they're not. Not now. You don't need to witness the self-destruction or put your wife and kid though it. Your sister has to earn your trust, you don't give it freely to someone who has time and time again abused it.

/end of unasked-for commentary