A Change

[captain_slinky]

Today I decided would be the first day in a new direction for Molly.

As our lives together have progressed, I have pretty much let her be The Ruler. All day long I let her decide what we're going to do. We play, we watch cartoons, we color... and Daddy NEVER gets any housework done. And when i *do* try to do any housework, Molly destroys the rest of the house faster than i can clean it up. Also, she refuses to clean up after herself, even when threatened with punishment or tempted with fabulous rewards.

Up till now, my way of trying to get her to clean has been a pattern of me asking her to clean (she says no), me begging her to clean (she says no and turns on the TV or starts playing with a random messy toy like Playdoh or Paints) me offering her prizes/rewards to clean (she ignores me and continues to watch TV or play) me threatening with punishment if she doesn't clean up (she continues to ignore) me putting her in the corner for punishment and her crying because she can't understand why she's being punished.

Today i cut out The Middle Man. Today i turned off the TV and told her we were going to clean up before we could play or watch TV. She told me "No". I told her fine, she didn't have to clean up but DADDY is going to clean up and no TV or games till after it's all cleaned-up. I constantly encouraged her to help me clean so we could go and do fun stuff.

...And it didn't work AT ALL. She screamed, she cried, she destroyed whatever part of the house I wasn't it. She would help me on very rare occasions, but out of the 4 hours we were doing this, 3 and a half of them were screaming and crying and destroying.

Finally, khristle came home and that's when the whole co-parenting thing really kicked in to our advantage. While one of us cleaned, the other was able to hold her and calm her down and continue to explain "The New Rules". By 5:30 I was vacuuming, Crystal was washing dishes and Molly was cleaning the counters. Working together as a happy family :)

Comments

[aquatwo.livejournal.com]

yay for everyone helping with chores!

[kmarier.livejournal.com]

Good luck! Consistency will be your watchword. If these are the new rules, stick to your guns! I have a similar arrangement with my son and for the most part it works quite well. Also, I am scrupulous about thanking him for any and all help he gives me with the housework (teaches good manners, reinforces that this is good behaviour, and encourages him to continue).