captain_slinky | RIP Plans "A" through "E"... What was Plan F again???

"Plan A" was waaaaaaaay too cost prohibitive, despite several contacts saying "Well hang on, let me see what I can do about that price". But that's okay because there's always...

"Plan B" proved to be more physically impossible than I originally thought. Ends up you need special equipment and/or explosives to do that, neither of which I have access to. But it might be possible if I call in a favor from an old chum for...

"Plan C" fell through because ends up that guy is *dead*. Or at the very last he doesn't live where he used to live and the people who DO live there now don't speak English. So! Good thing I had...

"Plan D" doesn't actually exist. I mean, the PLAN exists, but the things needed to make "Plan D" work? They don't exist, according to Google and every salesman I've spoken with. But that's okay, because Plan D is almost exactly like...

"Plan E" is missing. Just straight-up, "Gee-It-Was-Here-Just-Last-Week-When-I-Decided-It-Would-Be-Plan-E-Where-Did-It-Go" MISSING. But that's okay because...

I had a "Plan F", didn't I?