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[personal profile] captain_slinky
So have you seen the news item aboutThing Underwear for 7-Year-Olds?

http://www.jsonline.com/news/gen/may02/43941.asp

In a nut-shell, Abercrombie & Fitch is selling sexy thong underwear for 7-to-10-year-old little girls. Not just thing underwear, but thong underwear with designs that say "Eye Candy" and "Wink Wink" on them. You know, the type of stuff that any 7-year-old little girl would want to wear while she's out prowling the local Rave sceene looking for a guy to screw in a bathroom stall.

Everybody get in the handbasket, we're going to Hell.

This is the first thing I've been OUTRAGED by in a long time. This is even worse than Rob Liefeld drawing Captain America! So of course, I have planned a retaliation of sorts.

First off, you have to know what I look like. 330 Lbs, unshaven, thick glasses... I have a very Evening News-worthy "Parents Are Urged To Be On The Look-Out And Keep Their Children Away From *THIS MAN*" look to me. This weekend, I will be visiting as many Abercrombie & Fitch stores as i can find. I'm going to hang out around the Kiddie-Thongs and strike up conversations with all the potential customers, using my best low-grumbly "Kid-Toucher" voice. Nothing incriminating or illegal, just stuff like "Mmmmmmmmyeah... she's going to look *very* nice in those. You know, you have a *very* beautiful daughter... do you have any, you know... pictures?"

Nothing against the law about complimenting a child's apearance and asking to see pictures, right? Parents *LOVE* to show off pictures of their kids!

Anyway, if *you* can do a good "Kid Toucher" act, I strongly suggest that you join me this weekend :)
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