Outrage and Retaliation

[captain_slinky]

So have you seen the news item aboutThing Underwear for 7-Year-Olds?

http://www.jsonline.com/news/gen/may02/43941.asp

In a nut-shell, Abercrombie & Fitch is selling sexy thong underwear for 7-to-10-year-old little girls. Not just thing underwear, but thong underwear with designs that say "Eye Candy" and "Wink Wink" on them. You know, the type of stuff that any 7-year-old little girl would want to wear while she's out prowling the local Rave sceene looking for a guy to screw in a bathroom stall.

Everybody get in the handbasket, we're going to Hell.

This is the first thing I've been OUTRAGED by in a long time. This is even worse than Rob Liefeld drawing Captain America! So of course, I have planned a retaliation of sorts.

First off, you have to know what I look like. 330 Lbs, unshaven, thick glasses... I have a very Evening News-worthy "Parents Are Urged To Be On The Look-Out And Keep Their Children Away From *THIS MAN*" look to me. This weekend, I will be visiting as many Abercrombie & Fitch stores as i can find. I'm going to hang out around the Kiddie-Thongs and strike up conversations with all the potential customers, using my best low-grumbly "Kid-Toucher" voice. Nothing incriminating or illegal, just stuff like "Mmmmmmmmyeah... she's going to look *very* nice in those. You know, you have a *very* beautiful daughter... do you have any, you know... pictures?"

Nothing against the law about complimenting a child's apearance and asking to see pictures, right? Parents *LOVE* to show off pictures of their kids!

Anyway, if *you* can do a good "Kid Toucher" act, I strongly suggest that you join me this weekend :)

Comments

[daleth.livejournal.com]

haha...Great as that idea sounds, I really don't think it's something that one wants to do in an area one might be spotted in again, and Lynnwood's a small area buddy (I live in Bothell now, but small area too). People tend to get pretty touchy about that stuff, too, so you could get beat up by an angry dad.

[butterfukky.livejournal.com]

isn't this like... some violation of some basic law somewhere?

[opaleyes.livejournal.com]

The underwear, he said, is targeted for the same market once the niche for Underoos, the children's underwear that debuted in the 1970s and depicted superheroes and other characters.

AAGH! So put them back in their underoos! There is nothing at all wrong with cartoon character underoos. They are modest and kiddish whereas thongs are entirely immodest and, in my personal opinion, slutty. There is no reason in the world why any little girl should need a thong. The guy said something about how they weren't appropriate for 7 year olds, but they were for 10 year olds?!?! How does that make any sense? No 10 year old should be worried about hiding their panty line. And what 10 year old would be wearing clothes tight enough to have that problem? AAGH!!

No daughter of mine will ever wear thong underwear that young (and if I have anything to say about it, ever. I hate them personally). Though the idea of pretending to be a scary kid-toucher might backfire on you. Careful there. I'd boycott them, except I've already been boycotting them for years. Need some new form of protest...

[dotgirl.livejournal.com]

As I told Brian, we won't be shopping at Abercrombie & Fitch ever. (Not that we shop there now, mind you, but it will be a deliberate action rather than simply because they have nothing of interest.)

I think we're pretty liberal with our 10 year old - she's allowed to wear 2-piece bathing suits, cute underwear (mostly Disney princesses), and various other "in style" things. But I can't imagine a) her wanting thong underwear - seriously, who wants a wedgie on purpose, or b) what sort of parent *would* allow thong underwear on a child that age. It's sick.

Re:

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

Ah, yes... but if he beats me up, then i can sue him! After all, all I did was compliment his daughter! So then after I sue his ass, he'll have less money to buy sexy linerie for little girls. I'll bet he settles out of court, too... who wants to have it on their record that they went to court to protect their right to buy thong underwear for little girls?

Re:

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

The butt-floss for pre-teens, or complimenting people's children?

Re:

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

I agree! Comparing the Kiddie Butt-Floss to Underoos is like comparing Barney to Hard-Core Porn. And I think they mis-quoted the guy who talked about 10-year-olds. His *actual* quote was "It may be inappropriate for 7-year-olds, but that hot little 10-year-old tramp that lives down the street and has been flirting with me so much, it would be okay for. you know she TOTALY wants it!"

Re:

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

I'm going to contineu not shopping there, but what type of message is that? it's like the fundamentalist Christiands boycotting the Disney movies that they never went to go se ein the first place because they're full of the gays and the devil. No, i want to HURT them for this one.

[butterfukky.livejournal.com]

the buttfloss for preteens of course haha
seriously, can't they be taken to court for this?

Re:

[opaleyes.livejournal.com]

LOL!

[bghsmith.livejournal.com]

I have serious doubts that people will actually *buy* the things. Come on! These girls aren't even ready for training bra's yet!

Of course we can not forget the pedophiles. I'm sure they'll be buying these up when they go on clearance.

I agree, how DARE they spoil the innocent fun of Underoos by comparing then to this sick sh*t! I mean really! A hero for a little girl like Ariel or Wonder Woman the same as a thong that says EYE CANDY!!!! That term alone (even on regular briefs) would piss me off!

Re:

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

I hope so! Then again, their catalog last year featured a bunch of underage teen-agers groping eachother, so I'm not sure where the line gets drawn...

Re:

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

These are the new Underoos, and "Girls Who Suck Cock And Eat Cum Vol. 14" is the new Telletubbies.

[deensey.livejournal.com]

Ohmygod.....

that fucking rocks. that is possibly the funniest thing i've read in days... Do it!!!!!!!! Do it!!! Bring a camera......

[deensey.livejournal.com]

No, they will buy them. Believe me, i know. They will squander their preciousa allowance on them. I know.

I worked at a jewellry/accessory store here in Canada called Ardene, and we sold thongs and little tank tops with y'know a hand print ant the word 'off' or hot stuff, or butterflies, or whatever. Now, i bought some, and own them, but i'm 27, so.... But 10 year old girls flocked into the store and bought all the smalls and extra smalls the first few days they were out. then came back in the store days later to buy other stuff wearing the thongs showing above their jeans, with packs of little mall boys following them. It was GROSS

Re:

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

Well crap. That's going to ruin my plan for the weekend... I can't shame a shameless little girl! The little girls that will be buying the Thong will think it's "Really Cool" to have an older guy paying attention to her like that! Plus, Molestation is any act of "Bothering" a child, not just sexually. So I don't ereally want to be a Child Molester. I used to have some fun with that, though, when I was a kid... telling n my older brother "MOOOOOOOM! Butch is Molesting me! Make him stop!"

Re:

[deensey.livejournal.com]

Yeah but still... Parents will be there too. I say lurk!

[bghsmith.livejournal.com]

Ok, what parent would allow 10-year-olds to hang out at the mall unsupervised? Hell, I was in high school during my mallrat days and my mom STILL freaked out and was sure I'd get kidnapped! I can't imagine being 10 and being allowed to hang-out anywhere but a park or a friends house. Still then I would expect to be supervised.

Hell in a blue rubber dinghy! Straight to it!

Re:

[deensey.livejournal.com]

Oh i know.... I was 13, in grade nine, and a short walk to the mall/movie thatre, and had a two hour window to go with a firned, see movie, come back. No hanging at the mall for me. And movie was usually preapproved as well

Re:

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

Now I'm scared :(

Re:

[deensey.livejournal.com]

Don't be scared... I believe in you....

Captain America would do it

[wrapper.livejournal.com]

You know, I consider myself a fairly liberal person, but... damn... there's no way in hell I'd let my daughter wear that.

P.S. I'll pass on your offer -- my luck, I'll wind up getting arrested.

[(Anonymous)]

Hey it's Britt. Brian I'm 10 and I don't think thats a good Idea. Maybe for a 16 or 17 year old but not for 7 to 10 year olds. Next thing you know they'll be coming out simposon and Friends t-shirts for 1mont year olds to 1 1/2 year olds