Things That Should Not Be Things Any More (Part 1)

[captain_slinky]

Here is a list of things that people do ON PURPOSE that I think should no longer be done on purpose.

• PICNIC LUNCHES
  
• CAMPING
  
• RED LOBSTER'S "LOBSTER TOPPER DAYS"
  
• COUNTRY MUSIC
  
• GOING TO THE BEACH

That's not to say that these things can't happen by accident or coincidence, like "Hey we're gonna be hiking all day better bring a lunch along with us" as opposed to "Ooh let's set up a specific time and place to go chase escaping napkins across the park and scream-pray that we can find a restroom within a half-mile".

"Oh hey we're no where near civilization right now so let's just camp here for the night" instead of "Hey let's take a miniature, uncomfortable version of our house out to the middle of nowhere for a week and live there".

Red Lobster, please stop saying "Man people sure do love Lobster, but y'know what would make it better? DROWN IT IN CHEEZ-WIZ"

Country music, please just stop. I love you, but it's all been done TO DEATH and we alllllll get it - you love America and Beer and Trucks. Move on.

And the last one on the list, GOING TO THE BEACH. Hot sand, itchy water, sand in every crevice, sand in your food, other people's bratty kids torturing YOUR kids, and SO MUCH SUN! Melanoma, eye damage, sunburn - stay home and take a nice cold shower.

Comments

[penelopes-web.livejournal.com]

Okay sorry, the only one I agree with is ..Red Lobster...whatever...because processed lobster in mass quantities just doesn't sound appetizing.
But, I don't understand not wanting to have lunch outside on a blanket maybe at a park or a hill overlooking a lake, just to get a new perspective.
And how can you go explore the great unknown; hiking in the wilderness, finding hidden lakes, and cooking outdoors without some amenities from home?
I can't imagine not giving my kids all those camping and picnic memories.

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

Looking back on all my picnic memories, the only ones that are enjoyable are the accidental ones. A *planned* picnic is a fight for chairs, a loose napkin chase, a conversation about how we should have done this at a park with closer restrooms, and a Contest of Complaints - "Thought it was going to be nicer today, wonder if I have a hoodie in the car?" "Ugh it's TOO HOT and there's no shade!" "Everyone brought Potato Salad and no one brought any REAL food?" "I'm not hungry now, Daddy, I just want to go play more!"

No reason for it. Eat indoors like a civilized human.

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

Also, "Cooking Outdoors" is headed for the list soon - it's something you should only do out of necessity, never on purpose. Never say "Modern technology has given me a magical box in my house that will cleanly and efficiently allow me to monitor my food as it cooks, so I think I'll go outside and set this pork chop on fire instead".

[aurora77]

Grilling has it's benefits. In my household, one of them is "my husband does it, not me". XD Another has to do with not turning on the stove or oven on hot days. Not to mention the different flavors you can get.

Cooking over a firepit, though, is definitely not my favorite thing to do. I've tried it before and I'd much rather not.

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

I have done the calculations, and the reasons in favor of outdoor cooking are negated easily. The "My Husband Cooks It So I Don't Have To" is much easier to accomplish with using a full kitchen, or better yet to have him just take you out for dinner. The "We don't have to turn on a stove or oven" is also negated by the idea of going out to eat, even at a fast food joint, where you get the added value of free soda refills and free air conditioning. Being a former Charcoal Griller myself, it just didn't add up - $5 worth of fuel to cook an $8 parcel of meat and veggies that I had about a 50/50 chance of ruining the food through under or over cooking, PLUS I'm very likely to get a sunburn from standing out there in the blistering sun poking and flipping the food. Then we either take the food back inside to eat (where it is very hot) or stay outside to eat which is also hot PLUS burning sun PLUS we are now doing a Picnic and having to chase napkins around the yard while picking bugs out of our food. Alternately, for the same amount of money I can take the family to McDonalds (or wherever), get *perfectly* cooked food, no sunburn, no picnic... and ice cream after the meal!

[man-of-snows.livejournal.com]

Want to come on my Country & Western Red Lobster Picinic?

[aurora77]

Picnics can be okay if there's a bathroom, a table, low wind, shade or overcast weather, and a lack of bugs. I'm pretty picky.

Purposely choosing to sleep in a tent and dealing with unwanted bugs/critters? No thanks. I'll take a cabin any day.

I'm not big on the sunny beach thing, either. I'll skip Hawaii for a nice late fall or early spring visit to the beach. A nice, comfortable cabin on the beach when the weather is overcast sounds perfect. Falling asleep listening to the ocean is wonderful. Sitting inside or on the porch with a hot cup of coffee, tea, or cocoa watching the waves or reading. A walk up and down the beach without sun and while the sand is wet from the rain. That's my idea of a good beach trip.

Red Lobster can go out of business, for all I care. Meh.

I don't mind some of the old Western Swing style country music and it's occasionally fun to listen to a song, but I'm just done with it as a whole and I have been for years.