132 - The Shirt I Am Never Allowed To Wear Ever Again

[captain_slinky]

Okay, so either this shirt makes me super-sexy, or every daytime TV talkshow specialist on dating and body language is a damn dirty liar because yesterday I got "hit on" TWICE within one half-hour because of this shirt!

All the daytime TV talkshow dating and body language experts agree that if a lady brushes her hair behind her ear while saying something to you, that's the universal sign for "Dude go for it you are SO IN THERE!" Well brother let me tell ya, it was a Hair-Brush-Back-A-Palooza all up in there!

The first one was the girlfriend/sister of the kid who was looking through the 99-cent comic books at Value Village (a Thrift Store) last night. As she came up to find out if her companion was ready to check out, I joked "HA! Your traveling companion is about to spirit you away before all the comics have been perused! I WIN THE DAY!!!" and they both laughed, and then... "Oh, wow, I love your shirt!" FOLLOWED BY THE HAIR-TUCK-BEHIND-THE-EAR MOVE!

Second was when I was checking out and the cashier (by far the HOTTEST of all the female employees at Value Village) remarked "Oh wow, I love that shirt! It's, like, my two favorite things in one shirt!" FOLLOWED BY THE HAIR-TUCK-BEHIND-THE-EAR MOVE! And unlike the FIRST lady, THIS particular little Fox has an extremely short "Pixie Cut" haircut - nothing to actually brush behind the ear, just the subconscious indicator that my shirt had rendered her ready for conquest!

Okay, so the *first* girl was about 12 years old... and the second girl, though technically old enough to work at Value Village, was most likely not old enough to have been alive while Nirvana or Nightmare Before Christmas was actually around... BUT THE HAIR-BEHIND-THE-EAR THING! It can not be ignored! Women - even dangerously YOUNG women - would never touch their hair or ear unless it were a SIGN, right? RIGHT???

For the sake of my marriage, I may have to retire this shirt!

Comments

[man-of-snows.livejournal.com]

I wonder what the gay equivalent t-shirt is?

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

Probably the same shirt, I'm just not tuned-in to that wavelength of flirting? Heck, I'm barely tuned in to hetero flirting and here I am at the ripe old age of 42 finally recognizing any type of flirtation that is less obvious than an actual kiss!

I worked with two people, a guy and a girl, both were trying to seduce me in order to prove I was either hetero or homo. Girl took me to see lots of movies, guy showered me with gifts including a computer... I never figured it out till years later when the girl admitted it to me on Facebook!

So yeah, now I have to see if any dudes do flirty things at me when I wear this shirt...

[aurora77]

I didn't realize that I was being hit on by a coworker until after she moved on to another job, after which she got a bit more obvious. My coworkers who were still there were like, wow, you didn't see it? It honestly didn't occur to me. I just thought she was friendly. Of course, it's happened with guys, too, where I've been oblivious, but much less so.

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

Isn't that CRAZY? All I can really remember thinking was "Wow I hope my new hours overlap with those two - we always seem to have so much fun nd I feel really popular when they're around!"