Atkins (again)...

Here we go again! New Years Day, and a renewed resolution to stick with the Atkins Diet! However, this time around there are LOTS of new motivations for me:

THE BIG BET: My brother, Butch, has made a sliding-scale wager with me regarding weightloss this year. For every 4 lbs. he loses, I have to lose 5 lbs. (I have much more to lose than him). The loser (he who loses the least amount of weight on this sliding scale) will perform a song of the winners choosing at a popular Karaoke bar. Since Butch is an introverted 40-year-old ex-Marine ex-truckdriver NASCAR fan Snap-On Tools dealer with severe homophobic tendancies, I look forward to having him perform "I Want A Man With A Slow Hand".

THE LOW CARB PHENOMENON: When I first started The Atkins Diet, it was a baren wasteland of non-support and mockery from main-stream media. But NOW there's a gazillion different companies making low-carb goodies! Several Low-Carb Specialty Stores within driving distance! Both Subway AND Blimpies coming out with brand-new low-carb products and sandwiches! Restaurants everywhere understanfing and offering lower carbohydrate meals! It's like a whole new world out there, ready for me to lose weight!

T-SHIRTS AND OTHER CLOTHING: Over the course of the past year, I have been buyinfg some of the COOLEST T-shirts at thrift stores, thinking I could sell them on Ebay. But now that I have a job and (subsequentially) no time to list stuff on Ebay, I just have a huge friggin' box of really cool T-Shirts sitting here waiting to be worn by someone who wears a size Large! I'd also like to go and buy myself some new pants without having to go to a "Big 'N Tall" shop where I'll pay $80 for a $20 pair of pants.

DISNEYLAND / COMIC BOOK CONVENTIONS: Now that I have a pauying job, I'll be able to afford trips to Disneyland and/or all the big Comic Book Conventions I've always wanted to go to. The two things that these places have in common are that (a) they are very crowded (tough for a fat guy to get around in) and (b) they require a LOT of walking. I want to go from Mr. Toad's Wild Ride to the Pirates of the Carribean without getting winded, thank you very much!

So there it is... more motivation than I've had in YEARS! My original motivation was simply to attract a suitable mate and, well, it worked! So what do you do once your motivation is gone? Why, celebrate with a bad of Doritos and a pizza, of course!

The Dead Pool

At the request of a few friends so far, I have decided to start up The Dead Pool this year. Invite your friends!

What is a Dead Pool, you may ask? It's easy! All you have to do is come up with a list of no less than 5 but no more than 10 Celebrities and/or Personalities that you think are going to die over the course of 2004. You get points based on how far away from 100 Years Old they were when they died! So for instance, if Prop Comic supreme Scott "Carrot Top" Thompson (who is 37 years old this year) were to finally meet up with the merciful sting of a snipers bullet this year, he would be worth 63 points! But if older-than-dirt funny man Jonathan Winters were to suddenly kick the bucket at age 79, he would only be worth a measely 21 points. Whoever ends the year with the most points will win a valuable prize of some sort!

Don't limit yourself to just Hollywood celebrities... NASCAR racers, Athletes, Deposed Foreign Dictators, Famous Terrorists... as long as the death would be reported in a National newspaper, they can be on your list! So while "Osama Bin Laden" *is* a valid entry, "My Uncle Fred" is NOT a valid entry.

Also, all entries must be actual physical persons. Cartoon Characters, intellectual properties, abstract concepts and/or ideas are not valid. "Kenny From South Park", "Michael Jackson's Career", "Freedom Of Speech" and "Original Thought" are examples of invalid entries. Just real people, really dying. Got it?

Just post your list in a reply and I'll keep track of it for you! You have till January 21st to get your entries in, unless you ask me really nice to let you play after that. Also, I will be posting my OWN Dead Pool List in the comments area as well so you will all know if I'm a cheater.

Good luck!