The New Shift

I have now successfully traded my shift and as of February 5th (just in time for Molly to show up) my new shift will be from 4pm till 12:30am, with Sunday and Monday off.

This is excellent news because (a) I get at least one weekend-day off and (b) Sunday and Monday are The Hell Shifts Of Doom. So HOORAY!!!

They're coming to GET me, Baaaahbraaaaa...

I feel like I'm in an old fashioned horror film tonight as each of my co-werkers violently falls victim to the deadliest of all killers, The Stupid Caller!

We all thought it would be great fun to drive out to the old abandoned cabin up in the mountains known as Comcast today. It'll be great! No adults to bug us as we drink, smoke pot, go skinny-dipping and have pre-marital sex! And of course we totaly ignored the warnings from the crazy old coot at the convenience store on the way up here, him and his stories about the 27 bodies they found in that cabin years ago and how they never found the killer.

So here we are in this lovely secluded mountain cabin of a call center when THE STUPID CALLER STRIKES! Not more than 2 cubicles away from me, I can hear the phone rep's death rattle: "What? No! Don't - don't click on the - okay, you clicked on it. Go ahead and close that and - NO! DON'T UNPLUG YOUR COMPUTER WHY ARE YOU UNPLUGGING YOUR COMPUTER?!?!"

Then, mere moments after that one The Stupid Caller strikes again! "No, see, we disconnected your cable because you haven't made a payment in over 3 months. No m'am we did NOT disconnect it because you are Black. We are not attempting to 'Keep You Down' in any way. No m'am I am fairly certain that Martin Luther King's 'I Have A Dream' speech had NOTHING to do with you getting to see 'Lost' tonight. Please... please stop yelling, m'am..."

One by one they've all fallen victim to the nefarious plots of The Stupid Caller. "No you can't pay your bill with Food Stamps"... "I'm fairly sure that your printer isn't going to have any effect on your internet connection"... "I'm sorry but you must have at least Windows 98 to get on the internet, your 486 running Win3.1 just isn't gonna cut it"...

I'm so scarred right now. I... I don't know where everyone else is! I'm running through the woods in my underwear and the trees seem to be closing in on me! This is it! i just KNOW that the next Stupid Caller is coming for ME!

Offensive

FINALLY found the ONE THING I'm offended by; people who openly "Dis" Chuck Norris. That really steams my veggies! Who's gonna fly back to 'Nam and bust your sorry ass out of that POW camp after the Government has given up on ever getting you back? Chuck Norris. Who's gonna jump in and save your butt from those slow-moving Ninjas who attack one at a time? Chuck Norris. And who's gonna use his expert Karate skills to inspire kids to just say "No" to drugs? CHUCK FRICKIN' NORRIS!!!

The man has been everything from a Soldier to a Texas Ranger to protect us, and how is his bravery repaid?

You people make me SICK.