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Pizza & Computers
May. 17th, 2010 08:32 amMicrosoft's latest Vista Update did horrible, terrible things to my computer that made me have to roll-back and re-install the update. This of course inspired a wave of "Well you should have gone with a _____ because I've never had any problems with _____" replies to my mini-crisis.
Which made me think... Computers are a lot like Pizza.
EVERYBODY loves Pizza, except for liars and poseurs. If you're thinking of typing something like "Well that doesn't apply to *me*, *I* don't like Pizza because ________" WRONG! You just SAY you don't like Pizza because you are a liar or a poseur! Deal with it!
Anywho... Pizza and Computers.
You can buy a Dell or a Gateway or an eMachines, and they're like a Frozen Pizza. All the ingredients are there PLUS a bunch of ingredients you would never put in your body if you knew what they were, but you don't really care because what you have in front of you is a perfectly suitable solution to your needs (Pizza Craving/Internet Game Box)
You can make your OWN computer, and that's like making a pizza from scratch. You know exactly what's in there, every bite/byte (see what I did there?) full of just the stuff that YOU want... but it comes out a bit mis-shaped, a little doughey in spots, maybe a bit burnt around the edges and the sauce just tastes kind of weird. But you made it YOURSELF, and so it is the BEST PIZZA EVER even if it's not perfect.
Mac Computers are like ordering take-out Pizza. You tell them what you want, they bring you a box full of what you ordered and that's what you get. You had no say in the creation of the pizza other than to tell them what size you want, and instead of the NORMAL toppings, they give you something like Cashews, Shrimp and Jalapenos because you're going to be DIFFERENT! And when your friends talk about eating their Peperoni and Sausage Pizza, you'll say stuff like "Ugh how can you guys EAT that stuff? Pine Nut, Beef Jerky & Raisin Pizza is the only way to go!"
And of course UNIX USERS just say "I've got bread, I've got tomato sauce, I've got milk... that's the basis of a cheese pizza right there, why do I need to bog it down any further? I'll just eat that."
Which made me think... Computers are a lot like Pizza.
EVERYBODY loves Pizza, except for liars and poseurs. If you're thinking of typing something like "Well that doesn't apply to *me*, *I* don't like Pizza because ________" WRONG! You just SAY you don't like Pizza because you are a liar or a poseur! Deal with it!
Anywho... Pizza and Computers.
You can buy a Dell or a Gateway or an eMachines, and they're like a Frozen Pizza. All the ingredients are there PLUS a bunch of ingredients you would never put in your body if you knew what they were, but you don't really care because what you have in front of you is a perfectly suitable solution to your needs (Pizza Craving/Internet Game Box)
You can make your OWN computer, and that's like making a pizza from scratch. You know exactly what's in there, every bite/byte (see what I did there?) full of just the stuff that YOU want... but it comes out a bit mis-shaped, a little doughey in spots, maybe a bit burnt around the edges and the sauce just tastes kind of weird. But you made it YOURSELF, and so it is the BEST PIZZA EVER even if it's not perfect.
Mac Computers are like ordering take-out Pizza. You tell them what you want, they bring you a box full of what you ordered and that's what you get. You had no say in the creation of the pizza other than to tell them what size you want, and instead of the NORMAL toppings, they give you something like Cashews, Shrimp and Jalapenos because you're going to be DIFFERENT! And when your friends talk about eating their Peperoni and Sausage Pizza, you'll say stuff like "Ugh how can you guys EAT that stuff? Pine Nut, Beef Jerky & Raisin Pizza is the only way to go!"
And of course UNIX USERS just say "I've got bread, I've got tomato sauce, I've got milk... that's the basis of a cheese pizza right there, why do I need to bog it down any further? I'll just eat that."
