(no subject)

Stumbled out of bed this morning, started making coffee and gazed out the window as I waited for the machine to tell me it was time to take my caffeine. "Got a lot to do out there today" I mumbled to myself and no one else. "Need to set up the timer for the lights, need to re-hang the lights from the roof... at least it looks like a clear day though, so that's a plus... say, what time is it anyway? It's awfully dark out there for 8 in the morning, and it seems to be getting d-"

FLASH!

BOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!

*TYPHOON-LIKE RAIN AND WIND*

WOW!!!

*Somebody* up there is trying to tell me that he'd rather have those lights on the ground and no timer on them!

Laaaaaast Chris-Mus, I gayou muh Haaaaar...

From the All The Wrong Reasons Department...

One of my favorite Christmas songs is George Michaels and Wham! singing "Last Christmas". I always liked it because even before George Michaels came out of the closet, it was the Gayest Christmas Song Ever. I don't mean that in a derogatory "That's so Gay" way, I mean it sincerely. I had always just assumed that it was one Gay dude singing to another Gay dude about the Gay dude he had been going out with last year at Christmas. I have always admired and respected it as the first openly Gay Christmas Song, even if it wasn't actually. And you gotta admit, you can't sing along to that song without tossing in a comically Gay lisp. Or at least, *I* can't sing along to it without tossing in a comically Gay lisp.

So I'm at peace with that. The whole Gay thing isn't why I'm going to Hell.

As you may recall, the refrain from this song goes a little something like this:

Last Christmas I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away
(You gave it away)
This year to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special
(Special)

Well THIS year, for some reason, and I have no idea how this got in to my head but now it won't leave me alone, I've been thinking of the "Someone Special" as in "Special Olympics" Special. Like, George Michaels is giving his heart to a kid with Down Syndrome or something. And so every time I hear it go "I'll give it to someone Special", I turn in to Larry The Cable Guy and say something like "TANK YOU MISTO JOJE MIKE-OES I LIKE YO HAWT IT LOOKS LIKE A POE-TAY-TOE!"

And THAT is why, THIS Christmas, I'm going to Hell :(