WINNER!!!

Received a phone call that... it... it HAD to be a joke.

First of all, of course, it came up as "UNKNOWN CALLER". I picked up the call without saying anything, which is my standard practice when receivng such a call.

All I could hear was breathing, and police sirens in the background. Hoo boy. I went ahead and said "Hello?"

All dialog from the caller should be read in broken English. Choose your own favorite ethnic accent to make it more fun!

"Mister Brian Pierce?"

Who is calling please.

"Mister Brian Pierce, do you remember... what is that clicking sound?"

I don't hear any clicking sound on my end.

"Mister Brian Pierce, is your address one-oh-one-one..." he went on to give me an address that I lived at back in 1997.

I'm sorry, I don't give out that information over the phone... who is this?

"Mister Brian Pierce, do you remember registering for the National Lotterywellcongratu - you do not hear that clicking noise?"

Nope... no clicking noise on my side.

"Well Mister Brian Pierce, the reason for my call is that you have won a MAJOR AWARD in The National Lottery and - sir, please stop making that clicking sound!"

I swear, I am not making a clicking sound on my end.

"Fine - MisterBrianPierce, DoYouRememberRegisteringForTheNationalLotteryWellGoodNews *gaaaaaasp* YOUHaveWonSixty-ThousandYou-EssAmericanDollarsWhereWouldYouLikeMeToSendYourMoneyI'llNeedYourBankAccountNumber"

No thank you *click*