Obsessive

For the first time ever in my entire SIXTEEN YEAR HISTORY OF INTERNETTING, I *paid* for a digital download of music from Team Starkid's "Holy Musical B@man".

I was one of the first folks to download stuff from Warez sites that offered MP3's.

I got music from Usenet.

I downloaded Napster back before there were portable MP3 players.

I've Kazza'd, Bearshared, Limewired, Morpheoused and P2P'd more files than I can even begin to remember.

I am no stranger to private torrent trackers.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME???

Commercial Idea

FADE-IN ON STOCK FOOTAGE "AMERICA IN THE MORNING" - SUN RISING OVER FARMLAND, TRACTORS STARTING UP, COMMUTERS ON THEIR WAY TO WORK, KIDS GETTING ON A SCHOOL BUS. MUSIC IS APPROPRIATELY PATRIOTIC.

VOICE OVER: It's not what you think...

FOOTAGE MOVES ON TO MORE SCENES OF AMERICANS DOING THEIR JOBS - OFFICE WORKERS IN A MEETING, KIDS IN A CLASSROOM, WORKERS LOADING TRUCKS, FIREMEN AND POLICEMEN DOING CIVIL SERVICE DUTIES (NOTHING ADVENTUROUS OR HARROWING)

VOICE OVER: It's more than that. It's the average Joe who drives the delivery truck at dawn. It's the single Mother getting her kids ready for school...

MUSIC BEGINS TO SWELL AS THE FOOTAGE CHANGES SLIGHTLY. THE PEOPLE WE HAVE BEEN SEEING DO THEIR JOBS LOOK UP AND ACKNOWLEDGE THE CAMERA, SMILING.

VOICE OVER: It's you, me and everybody you know...

FARMER: I... am Soylent Green.

OFFICE WORKER: I am Soylent Green.

DOCTOR, FIREMAN, SINGLE MOTHER (IN RAPID SUCCESSION, OVERLAPPING A BIT): I am Soylent Green.

CLASSROOM FULL OF FIRST GRADE CHILDREN WITH TEACHER: We are Soylent Green YAAAAY!!!

ELDERLY MAN HOLDING AN INFANT (SAYING TO INFANT: I am Soylent Green...

MUSIC SWELLS TO FINAL PROLONGED NOTE, SUPERIMPOSE SOYLENT GREEN LOGO AS VOICE OVER READS ALOUD: Soylent Green... It's *People*.

(Final detached disclaimer voice over: "Paid for my the Soylent Corporation")