048 - Time to play "IS IT RACIST?"

Ace TV (that Roku channel I'm kind of obsessed with right now) is currently showing a mixture of unknown music videos mixed with Martial Arts movie trailers while we wait for the next movie to start, and since I've never actually *seen* a movie start on this channel I'm sticking around for the title sequence at the very least.

*EDIT* The movie just started, it's a 1989 low-budget sci-fi movie called "Slipstream" starring Mark "Luke Skywalker" Hamill!. More on that later, I'm sure*...

So anywho, one of the trailers was for a movie called "The Clones Of Bruce Lee":

It appears to be a sci-fi Martial Arts film (not enough of those) starring Bruce Lai, Bruce Le and Dragon Lee as THE Clones Of Bruce Lee. The only similarities I see between these three men and the real Bruce Lee are that they are all Asian and all have names that seem to be Chinese Knock-Offs of the name "Bruce Lee"

Like an action film featuring Sylvester Stabone, Ahmed Schwarzenegger and John Claude Van Dang.

SO! IS IT RACIST??? One the one hand, you have the old "All Asians Look Alike Who Can Tell Them Apart", on the other hand, it's an Asian studio that made it for an Asian audience...


*("Slipstream" is a 1989 Post-Apocalyptic Sci-Fi Bounty Hunter Movie set in a world where the Apocalypse was brought on by *wind*, so think "Mad Max" with gliders instead of cool cars. You can find this movie on most of those "Twenty Sci-Fi Classic Movies For Just Five Dollars" DVD collections)

The Daily Show With...?

I know who to replace John Stewart with when he leaves The Daily Show and you're going to get the reasoning behind it before you get the reveal, because I am a Jerk.

First of all, you have to accept that despite being the Progressive Liberal Center of All Knowledge, the new host has to be a White Male. The show is a satire and a parody of the status quo in traditional journalism. If we are going to mock something, we need people to be able to identify the thing we are mocking. And so although I would love to see a Tina Fey, Amy Pohler, Sarah Silverman or Jessica Williams political show, it doesn't fit The Daily Show.

Secondly, the person needs to be currently unemployed... or at the very least not involved in any long-term, open-ended contracts. Promoting a writer (past or present) to the role of Anchor Desk would potentially disrupt the balance of the writers room, and trying to hire somebody away from another successful gig would be financially unsound.

And third, which is almost contradictory to the first and second things, it has to be somebody that White Liberal America *adores* and can use as their token conversation piece - "Oh look how far we've come as a Nation! I'm so proud of our new Daily Show host! You know, one of my best friends at work is a ______ and I never ever judge them for it! Once I heard the news I sent them an Email saying 'Good Job You Must Be So Proud Today'"

Oh, please... like you don't have those friends. You know the ones... they're the ones who can't say "I voted for Obama" without saying in the same breath "And NOT because he's BLACK". They're out there. Plus, HAVING "One Of Them" host the show would REALLY tick-off The Right Wing.

Anywho, to run down the list in bullet-point efficiency:

-White
-Male
-Available
-Adored by Liberals
-Token Liberal Agenda

And lastly, a few qualifications that my nominee has which are what make him *perfect*:

-Looks great in a suit
-Highly respected public speaker and entertainer
-Former Child Star

Ladies and gentlemen... Your next host of Comedy Central Presents The Daily Show...

NEIL.

PATRICK.

HARRIS!!!!