NOW is the time to STRIKE! Canada can be OURS!

[captain_slinky]

Every once in a while I start thinking that Canadians are pretty cool and smart, like the kinda place I'd like to live. Then today happens.

In all my Ebay auctions, I put shipping instructions at the end of the description that says IN BIG BOLD LETTERS "International orders (outside the continental United States) will pay a flat $15 for shipping. Sorry, no exceptions".

So I got this querry from an inquisitive Cannuk today:

Q: Hi. Can you please tell me how much shipping would be to send this Transformer to British Columbia, Canada. I noticed on your instructions said that it would be $15.00us to send to other countries, so does that apply to Canada as well?

My response:

You are correct! Canada is indeed its own country not at all a part of the United States and therefore would in fact be considered to fall under the category of "International" and/or "Outside The Continental United States"! Those bastards at The United States Postal Service (http://www.usps.com) seem to think that jus because you Northerners use colorful money and speak funny that you should be lumped in to that dreaded "International" category along with such despots as Cuba, Russia, Australia and even Iraq! I tired to tell them, I said "Hey, Canada' OK! They have Beavers and Hockey and Molson!" but the Post Office ( a GOVERNMENT RUN organzation) said that you Frostbacks are no better to them than those cheese-eating Swiss people. So yes, the shipping to British Columbia will still be $15. I hope this helps!

Comments

[aoshi666.livejournal.com]

Let's get 'em!

Awesome post man.
Don't hate me, but I still have those damn cards to send you. You still playing?

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

Yeah, still playing. Ever plan on sending the deck?

I've been planning my revenge for so long now, and it's almost complete! Just 4 Ninja, 2 Vietnam-era mercenaries, 2 queen-size metal box springs and a bgarbage can full of gerbils and my plan will be ready to SPRING in to ACTION!

[gamera-spinning.livejournal.com]

MIKE: ... so then the drunk guy goes, "I can't help being an idiot. I'm Canadian!"

CROW: Hahaha! Canadians sure are stupid!

[Suddenly, a WHISTLE is hear, and TOM SERVO enters dressed up in a mountie costume]

SERVO: Stop! This Canada-bashing has been going on for far too long, and I say no more!

MIKE: Don't you mean, "No more, eh?"

CROW: You're right! They are so stupid!

SERVO: No! I think it is time we join in solidarity with our brothers to the North, and that is why I sing this song of praise:

Oh I wish I were back in old Canada,
A land I shall never lampoooon.
How I pine for the ice-covered lakes of Manitoba,
And the beauty of Sas-ka-toooon!

MIKE: I've got this,

Oh I wish I were stuck in the hills of Alberta,
With some big dumb drunk guy trapping fur!

SERVO: Hey!

MIKE: As he scraped and he chisled all the moose dung off his boots,
I would find out he's the Prime Minister!

CROW: Oh I wish I were in the land that gave us Peter Jennings,
Alanis Morrisette, Mike Myers too!

SERVO: Now you've got it!

CROW: Wait, I take that back, I wouldn't go there even if you payed me!
Oh Canada is a place I must eschew!

SERVO: This is NOT in the spirit I intended!

MIKE: Oh come on, Tom, after all, they gave us Ed the Sock and Rush.

CROW: Yeah, what are you defending anyway? They're such feebs!

SERVO: Well, okay, I guess I'll try. Here goes:

How I wish I were blowing up Prince Edward Island,
Then going on to bomb Ontarioooo!
The DESTRUCTION of Canada and all of its culture
Is by far my favorite scenarioooo!

MIKE: Uh, that may be a bit too strong-

SERVO: No, Mike, you were right! This is MUCH better!!

Just where the hell does Canada get off sharing its borders
With countries far superior to it?
Why you lousy, stinking, francophonic, bacon-loving bastards,
Your whole country's just a giant piece of sh-

MIKE and CROW: Whoa!!

SERVO: I'm sorry... I have no sense of proportion!

MIKE: There there... musn't hate, musn't hate...

CROW: At least not so overtly!

MIKE: Yes, must DISGUISE our hate...

[aoshi666.livejournal.com]

I am trained in Koga clan ninjustsu, including all disciplines of the Snake, The Falcon, and The Dragon. I have approx. 167 shuriken ready to go, grapple hook and rope, tatsubishi, caltrops, climbing spikes, smoke bombs, poison rice, and 3 female disguises. I am your ninja....My secret weapon is a garot wire made from oil-lined hair from young Japanese women....I rule!