captain_slinky | Have you seen it?

There's a commercial on TV these days, usually airs in the early afternoons around here, for Jimmy Dean Sausage. The commercial starts with a line something like "Wouldn't the world be a better place if kids were always ready on time, and Sausage could be cooked in under a minute?"

DEAR LORD! Why hadn't we thought about that before! Quick! Get all those science-guys and doctors working on cures for Cancer and Aids, get them off those silly projects, and get them working on that "Sausage-in-a-minute/Kids-Ready-On-Time" connection/crisis! Alert the Pentagon! Do you think the Russians are any closer to breaking this enigma than we are? Do you suppose we should join forces with them in hopes that we can somehow lick the Children/Sausage combo? Where is Superman at a time like this, when we need hi--

Oh, wait...

Look! The commercial is coming to an end now! It seems that the fine people at Jimmy Dean have solved the "Sausage in a minute" part of the riddle! Hooray!

But really... who in the heck made thic connection in their mind? Has this guy eaten too much sausage? How did he make a connection between kids being slow and the cooking time of sausage? Has he been cooking children? What does he do with these cooked children? Goodness, I hope he's not eating them!

I swear... this commercial has given me the most intense nightmares since the ones brought on by the Jack In The Box "Cat Chat" commercials.