captain_slinky | Hillarity ensues

Please note that the "HIM" in the excahnge below never once got upset or angry or even concerned. He remained cheerfull and happy all through the exchange>.

ME: Well of course I can help you with that, sir! Now can I ask you to take a look at your Cable Modem for me please and -

HIM: Nope! Not gonna look at it, thanks!

ME: Uhm....

HIM: Not gonna look at the modem!

ME: I... Well, sir, I can only assist you with your connectivity issues is to go through some pretty standard Troubleshooting proceedures, the first of which is to figure out if your modem is in "Standby" mode. And the only way to do that is for me to have you look at the lights on the modem. Since I am able to communicate with your modem from here, if the modem ISN'T in standby then we'll have to assume it's a problem with your router and start from there. I'm more than happy to assist you, but it all starts right with YOU taking a look at THAT MODEM. Otherwise you'll have to call the Router manufacturer for -

HIM: Hey, sure! What's their number?

ME: ...

HIM: The number for the Router folks! Let's see if they can do it without making me look at the cable modem, shall we?

ME: ...I... Yeah! Sure! Why not! Okay, here's their number for ya!