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Nov. 17th, 2006 07:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
captain_slinkyThe Timeline of the Piñata at Donald Rumsfeld's Going-Away Party
8:37 PM: Piñata is brought out. Honoree is quite pleased.
8:38 PM: Objection from minority of partygoers who believe it is unwise to begin striking this piñata now. Reasons mentioned for not striking piñata include:
8:40 PM: Minority objections shouted down. Counter arguments made by the honoree include:
8:42 PM: Objections have been shouted down. Piñata is offered the opportunity to surrended MTBs by itself. It does not comply. Decision is made to strike piñata with sticks.
8:43 PM: Partygoers planning to strike piñata complain that the sticks they have been given are not adequate to break open piñata.
8:44 PM: Honoree reminds the partygoers that you strike a piñata with the sticks you have, not the sticks you wish you had.
8:48 PM: Piñata is broken open. Wild celebration. “Mission Accomplished” banner is raised until someone points out that no candy has yet fallen out of piñata.
8:50 PM: Piñata is searched thoroughly. No MTBs seem to be present. Honoree insists that they are there and we just need to look more closely.
8:53 PM: Search yields no MTBs, though a surprising number of Bit O’ Honeys are now leaking out of piñata's left hind leg.
8:54 PM: Honoree insists that partygoers remain and eat all of the Bit O’ Honeys. The rationale offered is that if we do not eat Bit O' Honeys here, we will have to eat them at home.
9:02 PM: Honoree assures everyone that eating the remaining Bit O' Honeys will take a little while, possibly as much as fifteen minutes, but definitely not as long as a half hour.
10:00 PM: Consumption of Bit O'Honeys continues. Work is a slog because, as one partygoer puts it, the candies are “really chewy and taste like Satan’s anus.” Partygoer is labeled a “Henny Penny.”
10:24 PM: In response to complaints that Bit O' Honeys are inedible, honoree tells partygoers "Whether or not something is considered edible is a judgment call. As we know, there are eaten edibles, there are things we eat that we eat. We also know there are uneaten inedibles, some things we do not eat that we don’t eat. Of course, there are also uneaten edibles -- things we eat that we don’t eat. Wouldn’t it then stand to reason that there are eaten inedibles -- things we don’t eat, but we eat? I think we’re proving that here tonight."
10:25 PM: Baffled partygoers resume consumption of Bit O' Honeys.
10:43 PM: Pin-the-Tail-on-the-Donkey poster falls off the wall. No one seems to notice.
8:37 PM: Piñata is brought out. Honoree is quite pleased.
8:38 PM: Objection from minority of partygoers who believe it is unwise to begin striking this piñata now. Reasons mentioned for not striking piñata include:
- Previous party game is not complete, seeing as there is still no tail pinned onto donkey
- Breaking open piñata seems like a greedy grasp for candy, when there is plenty in bowls at party already
- Pinata never did anything to us
8:40 PM: Minority objections shouted down. Counter arguments made by the honoree include:
- Intelligence suggests that piñata has miniature Twix bars (MTBs) inside
- Hell, you gotta hit something
8:42 PM: Objections have been shouted down. Piñata is offered the opportunity to surrended MTBs by itself. It does not comply. Decision is made to strike piñata with sticks.
8:43 PM: Partygoers planning to strike piñata complain that the sticks they have been given are not adequate to break open piñata.
8:44 PM: Honoree reminds the partygoers that you strike a piñata with the sticks you have, not the sticks you wish you had.
8:48 PM: Piñata is broken open. Wild celebration. “Mission Accomplished” banner is raised until someone points out that no candy has yet fallen out of piñata.
8:50 PM: Piñata is searched thoroughly. No MTBs seem to be present. Honoree insists that they are there and we just need to look more closely.
8:53 PM: Search yields no MTBs, though a surprising number of Bit O’ Honeys are now leaking out of piñata's left hind leg.
8:54 PM: Honoree insists that partygoers remain and eat all of the Bit O’ Honeys. The rationale offered is that if we do not eat Bit O' Honeys here, we will have to eat them at home.
9:02 PM: Honoree assures everyone that eating the remaining Bit O' Honeys will take a little while, possibly as much as fifteen minutes, but definitely not as long as a half hour.
10:00 PM: Consumption of Bit O'Honeys continues. Work is a slog because, as one partygoer puts it, the candies are “really chewy and taste like Satan’s anus.” Partygoer is labeled a “Henny Penny.”
10:24 PM: In response to complaints that Bit O' Honeys are inedible, honoree tells partygoers "Whether or not something is considered edible is a judgment call. As we know, there are eaten edibles, there are things we eat that we eat. We also know there are uneaten inedibles, some things we do not eat that we don’t eat. Of course, there are also uneaten edibles -- things we eat that we don’t eat. Wouldn’t it then stand to reason that there are eaten inedibles -- things we don’t eat, but we eat? I think we’re proving that here tonight."
10:25 PM: Baffled partygoers resume consumption of Bit O' Honeys.
10:43 PM: Pin-the-Tail-on-the-Donkey poster falls off the wall. No one seems to notice.
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Date: 2006-11-18 03:20 am (UTC)Sooo yoinking for Remain awake.
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Date: 2006-11-18 03:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-18 10:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-18 10:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-19 01:37 am (UTC)