Disney Job

[captain_slinky]

I was one of the 20 people that made it to "stage one" of the interviews. Only two of those twenty got to go on to "stage two".

I was number 3 on the list :(

They thanked me for applying, and welcome me to apply for any jobs that strike my fancy there at Disney, because they think i would make a great addition to the company.

I am very very bummed-out over this :( Even my comfort-food meal (a necessity for any time sorrow is near) of chicken-fried steak didn't taste that great :(

Comments

[dotgirl.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I think you would have been perfect, and I know that you'll get a job there soon! Also, I will come get you tomorrow morning and cheer you up by making you sit in my car, which i keep too hot for you, and listen to my music, which i drown out with my own singing, and talk about me!!

or take you to thrift stores.

Re:

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure how, but I am fairly sure that this is somehow the fault of Frank.

FRAAAAAAAAANK!!!

[dotgirl.livejournal.com]

Yes. The My Little Pony on my monitor has spoken, and she says it's time to kill Frank ...

Re:

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

Speaking of Ponies... Cruystal took one of her Ponies to work for on her desk, and put up a sign saying "CAUTION! ATTACK PONY ON DUTY" or something to that effect. We *are* rubbing off on her!

[collisions.livejournal.com]

Bastards! What kind of total fuckwad would even work at a place like...oh. Bah! No matter. I will work to destroy the system from within. Unless anyone I work for is reading this, in which case I will...have the content archival and expiration script ready by Friday.

Um.

Seriously, they made an error. And we'll keep an eye out for other stuff. And if nothing comes up, well, maybe I fire up SQL Query Analyzer and make a few changes to the ol' jobs DB.

Job Title: Brian
Job Number: 000123
Job Type: Visionary/Generalist
Location: Seattle, WA
Site/Product: Shared Services

Description:
The Brian, a key member of Team Slack, is responsible for artful yet rapid expenditure of time, monitoring of content on competitors' live feeds (specifically the Cartoon Network and Comedy Central) and playing around on the internet a lot. Duties will include management of team, which includes an Assistant Brian and three or four level II and III Brians. Shares on-call responsibilities with other producers to provide 24x7x365 unproductive and sarcastic comments during crisis situations. Also, there will be lots of pizza.

Requirements
The ideal candidate will say on his resume that he has a bachelor's degree. We won't ask too many questions about that, though, and darn it all if we even have a membership to that website where we could check that sort of thing. Twenty to twenty-five years monitoring live animated feeds preferred. The ability to drink large quantities of free soda is a plus, as they do tend to pile up in the kitchens (except on the 18th floor, the reasons for which we're still investigating). Required: five years experiencce making it look like you're doing work while you actually download porn and read Livejournal, the ability to pretend you have an actual job even though everyone around you comes to work in t-shirts and bunny slippers, extensive knowledge of the Brazilian stock market (just kidding), and excellent written and oral bovine excrement production capability.

Interested parties named Brian may submit their resume to please.don't.fire.chris.he's.just.kidding@dig.com.

Re:

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much... that cheared me up bunches :) I think I could handle that job!

But seriously, there *is* something you could do for me. See, I came in at number *3*. If you could just poison each of the people that takes the position until they call me back and hire me, I'd greatly appreciate it!

"More almond-flavored tea, Lois? No, no... I'll get it for you!"

(One must forgive the poor Dutch, I'm still learning.)

[mathewg.livejournal.com]

Nee hoor! Hellas. Dat is echt jammer! Hele jammer. Het spijt me. Maar, jij bent een grappig jongen. Dus, hele veel succes voor de volegende keer! Tot kijk!

Re: (One must forgive the poor Dutch, I'm still learning.)

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

You want to do *WHAT* to the Jews?!?!?

Okay, so I now know that Dutch sounds a lot like German if you read it with the right inflection :)

So thank you (?) for the kind words... I assume that they mean either "Dude you got screwed", or "Shove a grappling hook up your jongen".

Either way, looks like your Dutch is getting pretty good!

Re: (One must forgive the poor Dutch, I'm still learning.)

[mathewg.livejournal.com]

Dutch is a Germanic language, though it is influenced by French and English, with a scattering of others thrown in. Speaking it sounds like you're spitting on people. (The g is a nasty sound as it's very gutteral unless 'ng'.)

I essentially said that it was really too bad, and that you were a funny guy, so all the best luck for the next time.

My Dutch is very poor, actually, but I'm learning. Eventually I'll actually be fluent.

double poo!

[bghsmith.livejournal.com]

Poor Slinky,
I didn't get the job I was after either. The world just doesn't know what it's missing by giving us the shaft.
Buttheads.

Re: double poo!

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

Well crap, crap, and tripple crap! Sorry you didn't get your job, either. But don't fret; I heard that the job you wanted was all just an elaborate cover-up for recruiting unwitting civilians in to some sort of white slave-trade on the black market. Or maybe it was a pyramid scam. Either way, you're better off without it!