captain_slinky | Quick Notes on Family (Reply)

Went to a big Family Reunion Thingee in Long Beach, Washington this weekend. Here are my thoughts on the matter, should anyone wish to see them:

It was a "Pierce Family Reunion", of which i am the last viable seed to spread the last name of "Pierce". Lots of pressure on me and khristle to keep on popping out kids till we get a male heir to the once mighty Pierce Dynasty, lest we be overtaken by the Mudblood DeForrest, Taylor and/or Gapper branches of the empire.
I have much more personality in the family when my Cousin, Mark, isn't there. History has shown that when he and i are together we form a super-comedy duo that belongs on an FM Radio "Morning Zoo-Crew", but when he's unable to attend I feel that i really have to step it up a bit.
I'm a bit offended that my Brother, Butch, and his family were not represented on The Family Tree at all. But I understand why they weren't on it... they're not downstream-blood-related to The Pierce Family at all. Butch was o
ne of my Mom's kids from a previous marriage, after all... but he and his brood do more for our family than antone else, and I love them all just too darned much (despite them being Republican Douche bags)

...And now a few observations that, no matter how many times I write and re-write them end up sounding perverse, stalkerish and/or just plain wrong. So really, business as usual for this blog. But they've got to be said!

One of my cousins, Jason, is as close as I'm gonna ever come to meeting a real life Super hero in this world. He's on his way to being a Policeman and has the heart/attitude of one of the GOOD ones. Like, he's got an authoritative tone and demeanor, but he never asserts his authority unless asked to do so. Excellently quick sense of humor but never loud and/or boisterous (like a certain captain_slinky tends to get), he was the guy I found myself drawn towards hanging out with all weekend long. And his Girlfriend? HOKEY SMOKES! She's hotter than a hot thing that's really hot and could burn you if you touched it because it's so hot (they shoulda sent a poet)! She's a sweet, quiet girl who opens up to humor nicely, but every once in a while I'd catch her out of the corner of my eye and think "Hell-LOOOOO, NURSE!"
But the BIGGEST SHOCK of the whole reunion for me was my little cousin, Katey. My last memories of Katey were from about 7 years ago I think, when she was the dangerous quiet loner child who sat at the fringe of the group, darkly plotting the demise of each and every one of us while never, ever smiling. She was 12 and, if I remember correctly, collected shot glasses. If we had made a Yearbook of that last time I had seen her, the caption under her picture would have been "Most Likely To Set Us All On Fire While We Sleep Then Sift Through The Ashes And Harvest The Gold From Our Teeth".

Fortunately, some folks at the college that this little Omen-girl went to created a machine that turns sullen dangerous loners in to bright, bubbly, beautiful young women! Seriously, I had to ask a few people before hand to make sure that this was the same Katey. Words used to describe her and her beau (a fine young fellow named Jeremy who does THIS TYPE OF STUFF for a living) upon first glance would have to be "Cool", "Hip" and/or "With-it". Maybe even a touch of "The Ginchiest". It took me a while to figure out what exactly it was about them that struck me as being so "Cool", and I finally figured it out by the end of the weekend; it was their clothes. Sure, both were snappy dressers, but there was something different about their level of snappiness; something... peculiar. Something... missing? Yes, that was it!

In their entire wardrobe there wasn't a single piece of clothing with a carton character, political agenda or corporate logo! Nada! Zip! Just... *CLOTHES*!