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captain_slinkyNot my original work; ganked from a friends-locked post on LJ and reposted with permission...
Monday I was woke up by my alarm clock, powered by electricity generated by the public power monopoly regulated by the US department of energy, the alarm clock on my blackberry cell phone, with its FCC regulated communications standards, updated to the AT&T network time which, in turn, is updated to federally maintained atomic clock standards, kept accurate by the national institute of standards and technology and the US naval observatory. I then took a shower in the crystal clean water provided by the municipal water utility.
After that I logged on to the internet, which was developed by the defense advanced research projects administration, and checked to see what the national weather service of the national oceanographic and atmospheric administration determined what the weather was going to be like, using satellites designed, built, and launched by the national aeronautics and space administration. I checked this while eating my breakfast of US department of agriculture inspected food and taking the drugs which have been determined safe by the food and drug administration and prescribed to me by the department of veterans affairs.
I then got into my national highway traffic safety administration approved automobile and set out to visit my grandmother on the roads built by the local, state, and federal departments of transportation. On my way I stopped and dropped off the kids at the publicly funded school system, where they learn according to the federally approved curriculum. I stayed for a while with my grandmother in her new nursing home facility where she was placed after being diagnosed with dementia, funded by her current Medicare benefits, without which it would cost her $140 per day ($4100/month, $51,000 per year) to stay. While there I gave her the mail sent out to her via the US postal service.
After visiting my grandmother I went to her house to clean, taking out a dozen new bags of trash to be picked up by the municipal waste management facility and stored in the government funded landfills. Next I took her cat, Snowball, to the vet, where he received his annual feline vaccinations as determined by the local community legal mandates. I paid for Snowballs vaccines using legal tender issued by the federal reserve bank by the government approved method of credit card payment. After picking up the kids from school I came back to my house which has not burned down in my absence because of the state and local building codes and fire marshal's inspection, and which has not been plundered of all it's valuables thanks to the local police department.
After about an hour of respite I took my son back out to the local government funded community center where we spent an hour working on our communications webelos activity pin in our government funded Boy Scouts of America den. I finally returned home and turned on the TV to one of the FCC regulated channels to watch the most recently released episodes in their legally time shifted DVR form. I then logged back onto the internet to see my US military friends, who each have full medical health care, job security, etc. provided by the US government, discussing variations of opinion on how SOCIALISM in the government can't do anything right. Finally I brushed my teeth using the ADA approved toothpaste, rinsing with the fluoridated tap water, and crawled into my bed between the federally acceptable fire retardant sheets.
Monday I was woke up by my alarm clock, powered by electricity generated by the public power monopoly regulated by the US department of energy, the alarm clock on my blackberry cell phone, with its FCC regulated communications standards, updated to the AT&T network time which, in turn, is updated to federally maintained atomic clock standards, kept accurate by the national institute of standards and technology and the US naval observatory. I then took a shower in the crystal clean water provided by the municipal water utility.
After that I logged on to the internet, which was developed by the defense advanced research projects administration, and checked to see what the national weather service of the national oceanographic and atmospheric administration determined what the weather was going to be like, using satellites designed, built, and launched by the national aeronautics and space administration. I checked this while eating my breakfast of US department of agriculture inspected food and taking the drugs which have been determined safe by the food and drug administration and prescribed to me by the department of veterans affairs.
I then got into my national highway traffic safety administration approved automobile and set out to visit my grandmother on the roads built by the local, state, and federal departments of transportation. On my way I stopped and dropped off the kids at the publicly funded school system, where they learn according to the federally approved curriculum. I stayed for a while with my grandmother in her new nursing home facility where she was placed after being diagnosed with dementia, funded by her current Medicare benefits, without which it would cost her $140 per day ($4100/month, $51,000 per year) to stay. While there I gave her the mail sent out to her via the US postal service.
After visiting my grandmother I went to her house to clean, taking out a dozen new bags of trash to be picked up by the municipal waste management facility and stored in the government funded landfills. Next I took her cat, Snowball, to the vet, where he received his annual feline vaccinations as determined by the local community legal mandates. I paid for Snowballs vaccines using legal tender issued by the federal reserve bank by the government approved method of credit card payment. After picking up the kids from school I came back to my house which has not burned down in my absence because of the state and local building codes and fire marshal's inspection, and which has not been plundered of all it's valuables thanks to the local police department.
After about an hour of respite I took my son back out to the local government funded community center where we spent an hour working on our communications webelos activity pin in our government funded Boy Scouts of America den. I finally returned home and turned on the TV to one of the FCC regulated channels to watch the most recently released episodes in their legally time shifted DVR form. I then logged back onto the internet to see my US military friends, who each have full medical health care, job security, etc. provided by the US government, discussing variations of opinion on how SOCIALISM in the government can't do anything right. Finally I brushed my teeth using the ADA approved toothpaste, rinsing with the fluoridated tap water, and crawled into my bed between the federally acceptable fire retardant sheets.
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no subject
Date: 2010-03-24 12:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-24 01:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-24 02:56 am (UTC)