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captain_slinkyIt used to happen every year - I'd wish people a Happy Birthday, then they'd go and have a wonderful birthday. But then ONE time I forgot to wish somebody a Happy Birthday and you know what happened?
They had a wonderful Birthday!
Awww, MAN! That's so lame! What if some crazy Genie or other wish-granting entity decided that TODAY is the day that they're gonna fulfill one of my wishes? Like those girls in "Freaky Friday", where they don't know it's gonna happen but they both wish they could be the other person at the same second and BAM! THEY GOT THEIR WISH! So there's the Genie, waiting for me to make a wish, waiting all day long, and then I say "Hey! I'd like to wish you a Happy Birthday!" to somebody and the Genie's all "Well heck THAT one's EASY because all these other fools already planned a party and got presents for them! WISH GRANTED!
OH MAN! THAT WAS MY ONE WISH!!! AND THOSE DICKS RUINED IT BY ALREADY MAKING SURE YOUR BIRTHDAY WAS HAPPY!!! NO FAIR!!!
It's like going to a picnic and bringing a bottle of ketchup and the host says "Oh, hey, cool, you can never have enough Ketchup" and then puts it on the table next to like FOUR OTHER BOTTLES OF KETCHUP! There's no way we're going to eat all that Ketchup! That's like three dollars I just spent on something you can get for FREE at any Fast Food joint! That is a waste of perfectly good Ketchup!
SO! In summary:
I am glad you had a good Birthday, I am glad I did not waste my wish on the guaranteed happiness of your birthday because I knew you have many friends who would take care of that, always start each and every day by saying "I wish I had a Billion Wishes" followed by "I wish I had a Pony" (just to confirm or deny that the Genie was listening), and it should be okay to bring Ketchup Packets to any Potluck-style gathering.
They had a wonderful Birthday!
Awww, MAN! That's so lame! What if some crazy Genie or other wish-granting entity decided that TODAY is the day that they're gonna fulfill one of my wishes? Like those girls in "Freaky Friday", where they don't know it's gonna happen but they both wish they could be the other person at the same second and BAM! THEY GOT THEIR WISH! So there's the Genie, waiting for me to make a wish, waiting all day long, and then I say "Hey! I'd like to wish you a Happy Birthday!" to somebody and the Genie's all "Well heck THAT one's EASY because all these other fools already planned a party and got presents for them! WISH GRANTED!
OH MAN! THAT WAS MY ONE WISH!!! AND THOSE DICKS RUINED IT BY ALREADY MAKING SURE YOUR BIRTHDAY WAS HAPPY!!! NO FAIR!!!
It's like going to a picnic and bringing a bottle of ketchup and the host says "Oh, hey, cool, you can never have enough Ketchup" and then puts it on the table next to like FOUR OTHER BOTTLES OF KETCHUP! There's no way we're going to eat all that Ketchup! That's like three dollars I just spent on something you can get for FREE at any Fast Food joint! That is a waste of perfectly good Ketchup!
SO! In summary:
I am glad you had a good Birthday, I am glad I did not waste my wish on the guaranteed happiness of your birthday because I knew you have many friends who would take care of that, always start each and every day by saying "I wish I had a Billion Wishes" followed by "I wish I had a Pony" (just to confirm or deny that the Genie was listening), and it should be okay to bring Ketchup Packets to any Potluck-style gathering.
