Robin Williams
Aug. 12th, 2014 10:44 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
captain_slinkyWhen my Dad died, I had spent a long time getting to know him. listened to every story, had deep conversations, told him how much I love him, he told me how much he loves me, and when he went it was *time*. No regrets.
Robin Williams, however, hurts in an entirely different way. I *am* Robin Williams.
I loved Robin Williams, like pretty much every child of the 70's/80's, for all the roles he played that everyone is talking about now that he's gone.
My Dad and I had conversations about Robin Williams. Like my Dad (and like me), Robin Williams was always expected to be "On", which causes a lot of... tension? Apprehension? Stress. Constant fear of failing to be anything less that entertaining. And when people are anything LESS than entertained, you feel like you've *failed*. Depression sets in.
Every picture I ever saw of Robin Williams, he looked sad and alone. There's a quote that's attributed t him that sums it up perfectly, "I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone, it's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel all alone".
I get that. I feel that. I've ALWAYS felt that, and he put it in to those words *perfectly*. And all this time, through all the sad pictures and quotes and everything, I've always thought that hey if Robin Williams can make it, then so can I.
So when it ends up that he committed suicide after a long battle with depression... *shudder*...
After a lifetime of thinking that this was the right path, the path that Robin Williams had blazed for me... I really hope that's not where I'm headed :(
I'm not suicidal, I know I'm not alone, I know there are scads of people who love me and would miss me, and I appreciate that but it's really not even close to being the point.
I couldn't sleep last night because I knew he had died feeling alone and unloved. Not that he WAS alone or unloved, but that he *felt* that way :(
Robin Williams, however, hurts in an entirely different way. I *am* Robin Williams.
I loved Robin Williams, like pretty much every child of the 70's/80's, for all the roles he played that everyone is talking about now that he's gone.
My Dad and I had conversations about Robin Williams. Like my Dad (and like me), Robin Williams was always expected to be "On", which causes a lot of... tension? Apprehension? Stress. Constant fear of failing to be anything less that entertaining. And when people are anything LESS than entertained, you feel like you've *failed*. Depression sets in.
Every picture I ever saw of Robin Williams, he looked sad and alone. There's a quote that's attributed t him that sums it up perfectly, "I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone, it's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel all alone".
I get that. I feel that. I've ALWAYS felt that, and he put it in to those words *perfectly*. And all this time, through all the sad pictures and quotes and everything, I've always thought that hey if Robin Williams can make it, then so can I.
So when it ends up that he committed suicide after a long battle with depression... *shudder*...
After a lifetime of thinking that this was the right path, the path that Robin Williams had blazed for me... I really hope that's not where I'm headed :(
I'm not suicidal, I know I'm not alone, I know there are scads of people who love me and would miss me, and I appreciate that but it's really not even close to being the point.
I couldn't sleep last night because I knew he had died feeling alone and unloved. Not that he WAS alone or unloved, but that he *felt* that way :(
no subject
Date: 2014-08-12 11:25 pm (UTC)I'm going to miss him so much.
Here is his Back to Neverland video from Disney MGM Studios in 1989. Features him and Walter Cronkite and was part of the animation tour.
http://vimeo.com/64367610