119 - A picture is worth a thousand words
May. 19th, 2015 02:52 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
captain_slinkyYou know how sometimes you have a decision to make, and it's a fairly open-ended decision, and you don't really know what you want but you DEFINITELY know what you DON'T want? Like, somebody says "Where do you want to go for lunch" and you say you don't care because you're starving, so they say "Okay how about Taco Bell?" and you suddenly know that Taco Bell is NOT what you want, and that you'd be pretty much okay with ANYTHING as long as it's not Taco Bell?
Today I met the Taco Bell of Future Molly. Like, I try not to put any expectations on what type of person Molly ends up being in life and she can become anything she wants to be... unless it's this lady. Don't be this lady. Don't be Taco Bell lady.
Taco Bell Lady was at The Dollar Store. She was wearing an outfit that was probably pretty darned awesome back when she was 19 and bought it, but she was 50 now and wearing what can only be described as a "Rave Outfit" - Biker shorts, sneakers, baseball cap, copious amounts of make-up... Super-revealing neon halter top which showed off her collection of tattoos - the only one I clearly remember being one that covered her upper arm and shoulder. It featured a guy that looked like Jesse Pinkman from "Breaking Bad" and a little boy, maybe 4 or 5 years old(?), both extending their middle fingers while smiling for the picture. Above the portrait said "R.I.P. Lil' F*cker & Ass Man", with some dates below the picture.
If she had not been so... "Beefy"..., I would have attempted to take a picture. As it was, she gave me "Crazy Eyes" every time she caught me looking in her direction - eyes that said "COME AT ME BRO".
Now at this point, I'm still kind of accepting. She's confident and proud of her body, and isn't afraid to show it off. Something happened to Lil' F*cker and Ass Man that she is very passionate about. She's thrifty and/or extremely fashionable going with her "Retro 1990" outfit. Molly wants any of that, good on her.
But then I witnessed this lady shoplifting a package of baloney BY SHOVING IT UP HER SHIRT AND UNDER HER BOOB! From THE DOLLAR STORE!
That is NOT a safe place to store your perishable goods, lady! It says right on the package, "KEEP REFRIGERATED"!
And so, Molly, if some day you find yourself reading this when you are older, please... PLEASE promise me that if you shoplift baloney, you'll do it from a reputable grocery store and that you'll smuggle it out in your purse or some other way that allows the meat to stay at least partially cool, rather than cramming it under your bacteria-breeding boobies.
Today I met the Taco Bell of Future Molly. Like, I try not to put any expectations on what type of person Molly ends up being in life and she can become anything she wants to be... unless it's this lady. Don't be this lady. Don't be Taco Bell lady.
Taco Bell Lady was at The Dollar Store. She was wearing an outfit that was probably pretty darned awesome back when she was 19 and bought it, but she was 50 now and wearing what can only be described as a "Rave Outfit" - Biker shorts, sneakers, baseball cap, copious amounts of make-up... Super-revealing neon halter top which showed off her collection of tattoos - the only one I clearly remember being one that covered her upper arm and shoulder. It featured a guy that looked like Jesse Pinkman from "Breaking Bad" and a little boy, maybe 4 or 5 years old(?), both extending their middle fingers while smiling for the picture. Above the portrait said "R.I.P. Lil' F*cker & Ass Man", with some dates below the picture.
If she had not been so... "Beefy"..., I would have attempted to take a picture. As it was, she gave me "Crazy Eyes" every time she caught me looking in her direction - eyes that said "COME AT ME BRO".
Now at this point, I'm still kind of accepting. She's confident and proud of her body, and isn't afraid to show it off. Something happened to Lil' F*cker and Ass Man that she is very passionate about. She's thrifty and/or extremely fashionable going with her "Retro 1990" outfit. Molly wants any of that, good on her.
But then I witnessed this lady shoplifting a package of baloney BY SHOVING IT UP HER SHIRT AND UNDER HER BOOB! From THE DOLLAR STORE!
That is NOT a safe place to store your perishable goods, lady! It says right on the package, "KEEP REFRIGERATED"!
And so, Molly, if some day you find yourself reading this when you are older, please... PLEASE promise me that if you shoplift baloney, you'll do it from a reputable grocery store and that you'll smuggle it out in your purse or some other way that allows the meat to stay at least partially cool, rather than cramming it under your bacteria-breeding boobies.
