027 - Actual Trigger Warning, for me

[captain_slinky]

I really thought I was over this stuff pretty well, since it had been a REALLY long time since I had an alcohol-related "Freak Out"... but today I learned just how wrong I was.

And cripes, I can't even go in to specifics :(

Let's just say that somebody who will never, ever read this post (they aren't even on the internet) has been getting drunk while they're supposed to be watching kids, and occasionally MY KID is one of those kids. This person is one of those "Yeah but *I* can drive when I've been drinking, I know when I've had too much" type of people. This person drives drunk on a daily basis, usually with at least one kid in the car along for the ride!

When I found out about this, I had to pull over (I was driving) and throw up. I am SO ANGRY!!!

I have been distancing myself from this person for a while now, based off of what little of his drinking that I knew about combined with a complete and total lack of shared interests. I had been doubting myself, trying to convince myself that I was overreacting again to yet another person who just likes to have a little drink every now and again, but it ends up my instincts were CORRECT!

And really, I should have known off of those instincts. I have surrounded myself with really good people - the best friends a person could ever hope for! They all know I'm a methyphobe, and they curtail their drinking when around me. In return, I do my best to make them happy that they're not drunk :) As an exchange, I've grown - I can now be around friends as they have, like, one beer or one mixed drink. As long as it's not "Drinking To Get Drunk", I can usually power through it and I've been pretty darned proud of myself!

I've also discovered, thanks to it's local legality, that I'm 100% okay with people getting stoned on pot when they are around me. Well, not *stoned*, but getting a slight and happy buzz going for themselves? I have friends who smoke as an alternative to opioid pain relief and yeah that's totally okay. Pot smokers are 100% of the time (as far as my experience goes) Happy, Sleepy, Hungry and Fun. They're never spinning that Alcoholic Roulette Wheel to see if they're going to get Happy, Sad, Angry, Stupid, Sick, Belligerent or Violent this time around. I may not smoke WITH YOU, my stoney friends, but I'm okay with you!

This person, though... maybe it's the fact that kids are involved, maybe it's that I trusted them with my own kid, maybe it's that I didn't listen to my gut instinct from the very start... but SOMETHING about this situation has me physically ill :(

Comments

[hannah easterson (from livejournal.com)]

I would be completely furious as well. I'm a little bit of a methyphobe, though I can be around drunk people, it just makes me uncomfortable; but to do that around my kids? Heck no. Nuh-uh. Never. And sure as hell not when they're driving.

The upside is, now you know. No kid got physically hurt and now you have the power to say "nope, never again". And, as you said, you have the kinds of friends who respect you and meet your interests. You don't need that person. You've got lots of people who can fill that tiny gap this person leaves.

I'm sorry it happened. Feel better!

[tfcocs.livejournal.com]

I tell that to people every day: trust your gut. Thank heaven your daughter is okay.

Are you planning on consulting with the other parents who children continue to use that sitter?

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

Not a sitter, just an acquaintance-friend who has a kid Molly's age. One of those "Well sure if you need to go there don't worry, Molly can spend the night with us" people. The only other kid in danger here, is their own kid.

[aurora77]

NOPE NOPE NOPE. ALL OF THE NOPES.

I can accept when people put themselves at risk, but they should NEVER put others at risk. That makes me so angry! Drunk driving is NEVER okay. Drinking more than a little bit when you're supposed to be watching kids is also never okay. I think your reaction is absolutely appropriate to the situation. I had a similar reaction once when a neighbor came squealing tires into the condo driveway late at night. We went to check what was going on and he was drunk. My husband made a comment to him about how what he did wasn't okay. We went back into our place AND THEN SAW HIS YOUNG DAUGHTER GET OUT OF THE CAR. I was so upset about the whole thing I felt sick and couldn't sleep for hours.

My experience with pot smokers mirrors yours. I've only once seen a different reaction to pot, and it was paranoia. But it was a weird, amusing, harmless situation, and he was too stoned to do anything except sit around and be nervous about getting caught being stoned. He was just an acquaintance from high school and needed a ride home, but was freaked out about getting caught, so we just let him sit on the couch and waited for it to pass, then took him home. Since it's legal now, paranoia around getting caught isn't an issue. Also, people I know don't get as high as that guy did. I've tried pot edibles and the CBD extracts for pain. There is an effect on the pain. The CBD doesn't have the psychoactive effects, which I appreciate. My doctor has a very limited range of what he can prescribe for me, since I have some allergies, so it's pretty much oxycodone when he gives me anything for pain. That's a pretty strong opioid. Since addiction to opioids runs in the family, I'd like to avoid them when I don't need them. They're a useful tool for some situations, but I can see how people could become addicted. Thankfully, my doctor won't give them out like candy and all my docs are in the same clinic network and see the same records, so I can't just ask each doc for a prescription because they can see what the others prescribed. I saw something recently about opioid addiction in Washington state and the regulations need to be tightened. It's apparently too easy to go doctor shopping and get opioids from multiple sources. Kids are getting prescribed opioids at a pretty high rate, too. There is a database for pharmacies where they have to log each prescription, but the doctors are not required to check the database to see if the patient is getting meds from other doctors. I think it would be a good idea. Anyway, I agree that pot is a useful tool and I don't see the people using it causing problems (as long as they don't try to drive, of course).

[captain-slinky.livejournal.com]

One of the things I really like about Pot being legal, too, is that there's better regulation and education. The "Weedtenders" at a Pot Shop can tell you that *this* strain gives you a "Body High" and THAT one gives you a "Head High", this one might make you more paranoid and that one will make you more energetic... it's all very exciting!

[lynna12000.livejournal.com]

People should NEVER take any kind of mood altering substance, whether it is alcohol or weed, when they is any chance of them being around kids. Kids need your undivided attention, especially when they are young.