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captain_slinkyYou're going to hate me for complaining about this. You're going to think "Ugh IF ONLY I were so lucky to have something so lame to complain about". You're going to think I'm ungrateful. You're going to think I'm terrible. You'll never be able to see me the same way after you hear this complaint. It's a complaint made from a position of privilege that I should be thanking one or more deities for rather than bitching and moaning about it. My complaint is unappreciative, it's selfish, and it makes me a bad person to even write it down.
...But I'm going to go ahead and do it anyways.
We were given a gift certificate for Christmas, to one of those super-fancy premium movie theaters with the reclining leather seats and a full bar and gourmet food and servers that bring your food and drinks right to you at your reclining leather seat while you watch the movie.
It looks like this:
I can't personally think of many movie theater experiences that sound worse than this - and I've seen a film in what ended up being just the back room of a porn shop in Tukwilla!
I don't like the idea of reclining in a darkened theater, I have enough trouble staying awake in a regular theater where I'm forced to sit up.
I don't like the idea of watching the movie from semi-comfortable looking leather recliners, the only way I'm going to be *comfortable* while watching a film is if I'm at home in my underwear watching it on TV - otherwise, I'd like to be in a regular theater seat (though I do enjoy those arm rests that you can push up out of your way for snuggling).
I don't like the idea of gourmet food instead of simple snacks, I don't think that the best way to experience a nice Grilled Lemon Chicken Satay with Grilled Asparagus and a Spicy Tuna with Pickled Ginger Wasabi appetizer would be to precariously balance it on my lap while reclining in a slippery leather recliner.
I don't like the idea of being in a theater full of the type of people who would pay a premium price for this experience, I'm pretty sure it will smell like gallons and gallons of Axe Body Spray and Calvin Kline Obsession Perfume.
I don't like the idea of being in a theater full of people who are actively drinking, if you're reading this you should by now be familiar with my issues on this subject.
All in all, I just don't want to use this gift :(
...But I'm going to go ahead and do it anyways.
We were given a gift certificate for Christmas, to one of those super-fancy premium movie theaters with the reclining leather seats and a full bar and gourmet food and servers that bring your food and drinks right to you at your reclining leather seat while you watch the movie.
It looks like this:
I can't personally think of many movie theater experiences that sound worse than this - and I've seen a film in what ended up being just the back room of a porn shop in Tukwilla!
I don't like the idea of reclining in a darkened theater, I have enough trouble staying awake in a regular theater where I'm forced to sit up.
I don't like the idea of watching the movie from semi-comfortable looking leather recliners, the only way I'm going to be *comfortable* while watching a film is if I'm at home in my underwear watching it on TV - otherwise, I'd like to be in a regular theater seat (though I do enjoy those arm rests that you can push up out of your way for snuggling).
I don't like the idea of gourmet food instead of simple snacks, I don't think that the best way to experience a nice Grilled Lemon Chicken Satay with Grilled Asparagus and a Spicy Tuna with Pickled Ginger Wasabi appetizer would be to precariously balance it on my lap while reclining in a slippery leather recliner.
I don't like the idea of being in a theater full of the type of people who would pay a premium price for this experience, I'm pretty sure it will smell like gallons and gallons of Axe Body Spray and Calvin Kline Obsession Perfume.
I don't like the idea of being in a theater full of people who are actively drinking, if you're reading this you should by now be familiar with my issues on this subject.
All in all, I just don't want to use this gift :(
